And they were roommates

castillon02:

Summary: Q moves into a new, suspiciously cheap flat, only to find out that it’s already occupied. Ghost AU. 


When Q woke up and got out of bed that morning, he tripped over his shoes, even though he could have sworn he’d slipped them off by the door. The fall left a bruise on his hip and a scuff on his favorite chukkas, and he spent the day limping from cafe to cafe with his laptop tucked into his messenger bag. Even though his hacks were successful, it was hard to feel triumphant when every step jostled the bag against his bruise and reminded him about what a klutz he was. 

You’ll outgrow it, his mother had said. And he tried. He did his best to stay organized. Even though the temptation to leave things on random shelves was constant, he usually did a good job of putting them in the right place. He’d even organized things in his new flat from the start instead of letting his unpacked possessions accumulate out of their boxes until he had no choice but to put them somewhere.

…He really thought he’d been doing better with his shoes… 

***

A smell that made his throat seize up with nausea greeted him when he opened the door to the flat. He took a deep breath in the fresh outside air, strode in, and discovered that the refrigerator door was open. Bugger. 

Had he left it open? Perhaps it had a broken seal and hadn’t closed properly? But a cursory investigation showed that the refrigerator door seemed to close properly. Also, his raspberry jam was either missing, or he’d never bought it. 

As he chucked the milk, the chicken, the mustard, the butter, and the leftover Chinese into a bin bag, he started to sweat under his cardigan and realized that the heat was on. Really on. He checked the thermostat: it was pushed up to 35. 

Perhaps the previous owner had…really liked tropical temperatures, and had set an automatic heat-cycle that Q had neglected to deprogram?  

Hmm. 

Or perhaps not. 

*** 

A sickly red substance appeared on the walls while he was gone for work the next day. Q sniffed, ran a finger down one wall, tasted, and then had a sample of the substance tested in a lab just to be sure of his conclusions. The red wall drippings turned out to be watered down raspberry jam, probably the exact same kind that had mysteriously disappeared from his refrigerator. 

Q bought three different carbon monoxide monitors. All of the readings came back normal. 

He installed security cameras: no one came in or out of the flat except him. 

His mental health issues had never manifested this way before, so he didn’t think those were the problem. 

It wasn’t him, it wasn’t another person, and it wasn’t the atmosphere. 

***

For five days, Q returned to an inhospitable mess instead of a home. 

For five nights, the flat creaked and groaned so obnoxiously that he couldn’t sleep. Whenever he seemed on the verge of it, a light bulb shattered or the cutlery rattled in its drawer or his bedroom door slammed open. 

Q had an unnerving understanding of why his rent had come so cheap. 

On the dawn of the sixth morning, however, he went to shower and shave, and when he came out of the bathroom, the words GET OUT had been carved into the bedroom wall with a steak knife. The knife was still sticking in the wall. 

Q smiled. The presence, whatever it was, was literate. This changed everything. 

***

That sixth morning, he didn’t even go to any cafes. Instead he went right out and bought a white board and a packet of dry erase markers, a chalkboard and some chalk, and—after a moment of thought—a game of Scrabble. 

He didn’t have a table, so he put them all on the kitchen counter, open and ready to be used. 

What should one’s first sentence to a ghost look like? ‘Hello there’ just didn’t seem to cut it. 

Nothing original came to him, so he wrote Buy you a drink? on the whiteboard. Maybe he’d get lucky and the ghost would have a sense of humor. Then he went and worked in the bedroom for a while, in case the ghost was shy. 

Half an hour later, the sound of a kitchen cupboard slamming shut brought him into the kitchen. 

There on the Scrabble board lay six letters, spelling out an unambiguous answer: Scotch.  

It was in the center of the board, too, on the starting square. This was a ghost that knew the rules of things. 

Perhaps Q could persuade it to learn a few flat-share rules too.  

***

Keep reading

I love this!!!!

Walnut Fig Manhattan

I know that Bond is more of a martini guy, but he also drinks scotch, and I’ve always pegged Q as more of a Manhattan guy.  This recipe takes a normal Manhattan (already good) and adds some lovely rich Fall flavors that make it perfect for this time of year:

3 pts bourbon

1 pt sweet Vermouth

1 pt ice water

1 pt Fig Liqueur (Figcello)

1 pt Walnut Liqueur

Splash of bitters (Angostura or others)

Shake with ice and pour in glass.  Garnish with a skewer of Morello Cherries in Kirsch. 

Q’s Lemon-Vodka Cake

00qpidsarrow:

Because sometimes 006 needs more than a liquid diet.

This recipe comes from one of Q’s friends from Uni who now lives in America.  Whilst Q is familiar with how to convert this recipe to British equivalents, he’s been too busy restoring the Audi Bond drove into the Danube last month and has not had the time to provide us with the converted recipe.

Q’s Lemon-Vodka Cake

CAKE:

  • ¾ c butter, softened
  • 1 ½ c granulated sugar
  • 6 large eggs, separated
  • 1 tsp grated lemon rind
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract1
  • ¾ c yogurt, plain
  • ¼ c plain vodka
  • 2 c sifted cake flour
  • 4 tsp baking powder
  • ½ tsp salt
  • ½ tsp almond extract
  • ½ c chopped almonds, optional

VODKA SYRUP:

  • 1 c lemon vodka, or plain
  • ½ c granulated sugar
  • ½ tsp ground cinnamon
  • 1 pinch ground cloves
  • 1 c angel flake coconut

Directions

    • Preheat oven to 350^. Spray and flour a 10-inch tube pan. Set aside. 
    • Cream butter, sugar, egg yolks, lemon rind and vanilla together in a mixer bowl until light and fluffy on medium speed.  
    • Combine yogurt and vodka in a small bowl.  It is critical to keep Trevelyan away from the vodka during this step.
    • Sift flour, baking powder and salt into a separate bowl. Alternately add flour mixture and yogurt mixture to butter mixture, beat well (imagine it’s Bond returning from yet another mission without his kit) after each addition. Beat for 1 minute more (because Bond deserves it), until mixture is light.  
    • Combine almond extract with egg whites; beat in a clean mixer bowl until stiff but not dry. Fold egg whites gently into cake batter along with the chopped almonds, if using.  
    • Pour batter into the prepared pan and bake for 30 minutes. Cool in pan on wire rack for 10 minutes, then turn out onto rack and cool completely. 
    • Using a wooden skewer, ice pick, or another pointy weapon, poke holes in the top of the cake.  

    Syrup: Combine all ingredients for vodka syrup in a saucepan (Best to send Alec to the shops at this point); except coconut. Cook over low heat for 5 minutes. Cool; pour in a thin stream into the holes you have poked in the top of the cake. Sprinkle on coconut right away. Let stand 1 hour before serving.  Alec should be back from the shops by then, and James might finally be discharged from Medical after treatment for his well-deserved and long overdue beating.

  • 1amvengeance:

    Ingredients:

    For cake..

    1 box of yellow cake mix (i used gluten free)

    the ingredients that your cake mix requires: water, butter, vanilla and enough cinnamon applesauce to substitute for eggs (¼ cup of applesauce to substitute for one egg, so do the fucking math) NO EGGS.  NOOOOO EGGS!

    1 tsp cinnamon (you may want more i didn’t measure…)

    1 tsp turmeric (same as above, whoopsie good luck)

    black food coloring (good luck)

    1 skull cup cake pan (i actually had this but if you don’t…just use a cupcake tin and get some black cupcake paper liners.  same thing.  it is!)

    For Icing

    1 cup confectioners sugar

    some teaspoons of milk

    4 tsp cinnamon

    watch your liquids, you can add more sugar to thicken it if necessary or add more liquid if it’s too thick.  for christ’s sake do anything but panic, just keep going.

    Directions:

    1. make the damn box cake mix how it says on the back of the box, this isn’t rocket surgery. EXCEPT!!!! substitute the cinnamon applesauce for the eggs. NO EGGS DO NOT PUT EGGS IN THIS THING OR YOU’LL REGRET IT. add the cinnamon and turmeric.  MIXY MIX MIX MIXY MIX.

    2. add the black food coloring AND mix mix mix.  this…takes a lot of dye to counteract the turmeric color so …have fun!  do your best.  i did.  did i say that i made this recipe up on the spur of the moment?  no.  k.  well let’s keep going.

    3. grease up the skull pan like it’s your lover and it’s their first time and then dust lightly with flour you magically have somewhere else or if you’re using a cupcake tin…use protection, get out that cupcake liner.

    4. pour batter evenly into the skull pan or cupcake liners.

    5. bake 350F for ummm 30 minutes.  check with a toothpick to see if done.  if not put it in for longer.  if done, take it out and let cool.  

    6. to make the icing, mix 1 cup of confectioners sugar and 4 tsp of cinnamon together dry.  

    7. add a few teaspoons of milk at a time until you get a thicc consistency.  we like a thicc royal icing.

    8. when consistency is at a go, put into ziplock sandwich bag if you don’t have a piping bag and nozzle.  cut a teeny piece of a corner off in order to pipe.  squeeze your bag…mmm no harder.  squeeze onto cake until decoration is complete.

    9. eat.

    Roasted Brussels Sprouts & Butternut Squash – Shutterbean

    Another savory recipe for the @mi6caferecipes exchange!  I make this one almost every Thanksgiving, though I sometimes substitute shallots for the onions because they have a sweeter/woodsy flavor.  Keep an eye on these… a bit of caramelization is good, but they can burn if you’re too distracted.  Also, you can cut everything ahead EXCEPT the brussel sprouts ahead of time.  They can get a strange horseradishy taste if you cut them ahead and keep them in water (knows from experience).  I tend to toss the marinade and the vegetables rather than drizzle, just to make sure they’re well coated.

    This is seriously so much better than string-bean casserole.  Your Thanksgiving (or some other fall celebration if you aren’t from the US) will never be the same.

    Roasted Brussels Sprouts & Butternut Squash – Shutterbean

    mi6caferecipes:

    Welcome to the Autumn Recipe Exchange! 

    As we transition from summer to fall (or winter to spring if you’re in the southern hemisphere!), let’s gather together to exchange our favorite seasonal, Halloween-related, or Day of the Dead-related recipes!  

    Recipe exchange week is from October 28 to November 3, so be ready to post all of your favorite October meals and treats!

    And remember to tag with #MI6CafeRecipes so we can find and reblog!

    Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

    svengooliecat:

    image

    These cookies are perfect for holiday parties and cookie exchanges. They aren’t very sweet, but they’re light, cakey, and melt in the mouth. There’s enough pumpkin purée left over to make a batch of waffles or pancakes, too! If you don’t want to bake off the full batch, just freeze the leftover dough for later. 

    Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

    2 ½ cup flour
    1 tsp baking soda
    1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
    1/8 tsp baking powder
    ½ tsp salt
    ½ cup butter
    ½ cup shortening
    ¾ cup brown sugar
    ½ cup sugar
    ¾ cup pumpkin purée
    1 egg
    1 tsp vanilla
    2 cups chocolate chips

    Instructions:

    1. Cream the butter, shortening, and sugars until light and fluffy; add egg, vanilla, and pumpkin

    2. In separate bowl, sift together dry ingredients and then add slowly to wet ingredients until incorporated

    3. Fold in chocolate chips by hand

    4. Chill batter for 30 minutes 

    Bake 375˚ F for 12 min

    Makes ~4 dozen (using a 1-inch cookie scoop)

    Notes:
    1. The half butter/half shortening ratio is vital to keeping the fluffy, cakey consistency.

    Slow Cooker Moroccan Chicken Thighs ~ Real Food with Dana

    Getting a recipe or two in on the last day of the @mi6caferecipes exchange.  This is one of my favorite new recipes, and fall(ish) due to some of the spices and sweet potatoes.   I’ve taken to making a double batch because we like having the leftovers.  I’ve substituted golden raisins for the dates, and I think next time I make it I might double the marinade, since I suspect my large sweet potato is larger than hers, and I like the flavor to be strong.

    The best thing about this recipe (other than the fact it’s delicious) is that you can start it in the morning, and it makes the house deliciously fragrant all day.  The sweet potatoes absorb the fluids given off by the chicken, so the gravy doesn’t go watery, as so may slow-cooker chicken recipes can.  I’ve served it over pearl couscous, but also just eaten it plain, with the sweet potatoes serving as starch.  And for those who don’t like cilantro, parsley can be substituted, or you can even drop that ingredient entirely.   It’s a very forgiving recipe and smells like fall to me now, and because it’s a slow cooker, it’s perfect for when you’re having guests over because the cleanup is done hours before the meal is.

    Pretty sure both my sp00qy Qs make this, fantom!Q because of his heritage (and the spices used in Lebanese food and Moroccan food are similar), and price!Q because one-pot stews seem to be his jam.  Hope all my 00q peeps (and peeps beyond) enjoy it!

    Slow Cooker Moroccan Chicken Thighs ~ Real Food with Dana

    Reading amazing fanfiction, then forgetting to bookmark it

    superpeanutwastaken:

    markiplier-girl96:

    castiel-knight-of-hell:

    ifellinthefandom:

    enter this into the Google search

    site:<url of site where you read the fic> <a line you remember from the fic or character names plus a unique detail>

    for example:

    site:http://archiveofourown.org/ Todd Margo pedicure

    Google will search only AO3 and tell you which pages contain the words Todd Margo and pedicure.

    REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE

    REBLOG TO SAVE MY LIFE