Zach looked up from the script he was marking to see Chris approaching, carrying a squirmy Nathan who was squiggling like a fish to get down.
âWell if it isnât my two favorite boys!â Zach said, waving to them from the edge of the set. Â He turned to Tobias, the assistant director who was giving him the shoot sequence for next week. Â âAnything else?â
âNope.â Â Tobias closed his script and retreated, saying, âHave a good weekend, Zach,â just as Nathan plowed into his legs.
âHey, Little Man,â Zach said, bending down to scoop Nathan up. Â âHow long have you guys been here? Â We ran a little late.â
âNot long,â Chris said, placing a hand on Zachâs waist and giving him a quick kiss. Â âBut we caught the last scene. Â Itâs looking good. Â I didnât think you were filming the argument until next week.â
âWeâre ahead of schedule. Â My scenes really clicked today,â he said, grinning at Chris because it felt so good to be acting again…Snowden had gone well, but the role was small. This was something Zach could really sink his teeth into. Â And Chris seemed happy being a stay-at-home dad between his own projects. They were each doing one or two projects a year, traveling with each other as necessary to keep the family together. Â Thankfully, Zachâs current project was filming primarily in LA, and they were enjoying a few months of routine. Â âIn fact, Iâm getting Monday off because theyâre shooting some scenes with just Emma. Â So I get a long weekend.â
âWere you sad, Daddy?â Nathan asked.
âNope. Â My character was upset, but Iâm happy. Â I was just pretending for the camera.â
ââQuiet on the setâ,â Nathan mimicked, putting his finger over his lips.
Zach grinned and put his arm around Chris. Â âDid you have to be quiet in the sound stage?â he asked Nathan, starting toward his dressing room.
âWe were good, werenât we, Babbo? No talking.â
âWe were,â Chris agreed, shooting Zach an amused look.
âYouâre a pro,â Zach said. Â âIâll just get out of my costume and makeup, and then we can head out. Â Did you guys pick out a movie for tonight? Â Is the pizza dough made for Nathanâs Home Pizzaria? You didnât get dough on the ceiling again, did you?â he asked, nuzzling Nathanâs neck and making him giggle. Â
âNo pizza,â Nathan squealed, squirming away and hiding his neck.
âNo pizza? Â Change of plans?â he asked, turning back toward Chris, whom he now saw was dressed a bit more formally than movie night would typically require.
âYeah. Â Well, maybe,â he said, motioning to Zachâs dressing room.
Zach was immediately alert.  If Chris wanted privacy for this conversationâŚ
Once the door was closed behind them, he asked, Â âWhatâs up?â setting Nathan down so he could scamper over to the pile of children’s books on the small sofa in the corner of the room.
Chris rubbed the back of his neck. Â âWell, if youâre up for it â not too tired â we should head over to Childrenâs Hospital.â
âChildrenâs Hos⌠what happened?  Is Luca okay?â
âFine. Â Everyoneâs fine. Â Well, not everyone, but I shouldnât have led with that.â Â He took a deep breath and pulled out his phone. Â Â âI got a call this afternoon. Â From the County.â
Everyone thinks that Bond is the one who sees Q and decides, âyes, that cute boffin there, I want thatâ while Q obliviously goes about his life clueless to the agentâs attempts at wooingâbecause Qâs a lot of things, but Bondâs usual brand of tea he is not.Â
In fact James Bond is literally the most oblivious dork when heâs off the clock. Itâs like, if heâs not doing the seducing, he doesnât notice? And that baffles the hell out of Q. Because Q has been trying for years to get 007â˛s attention and has been doing the lionâs work of the seduction.Â
Pretty sure it started with a look at 007â˛s smoldering obituary file pic and legend status: âyes, that ruggedly handsome 00 there, I want that. power couple goals.â Presumably Q has a hand in arranging his own meeting with 007, via Tanner, and chooses a museum on purpose. You know, if I want to be snarky, pretentious, and look really good doing it Iâd pick a museum, too. Lots of things to be pretentious about, and truly excellent lighting.
The way Q throws Bond off his game in Skyfall and then damn near bats his eyes? Hard to miss, but Q considers that maybe the agent thinks he had something in his eyes. Or was just getting his nerd eyes adjusted to non-computer lighting? Q even talked about his pajamas. And exploding pens. Within moments after making 007 think Q was an art student looking for a bit of strange. Wtf, dude. Does he have to spell it out for him?
Probably. Bondâs been knocked out a lot. So Q:
Rebuilds Bondâs beloved car
Endangers his career at least twice, canonically
Flies out to Austria to get him, despite a canonical fear of
flying
Mentions mortgage and cats, you know, in case Bond has a
kink for stable and well-adjusted
Definitely starts dressing sharper
Flirts awkwardly with Bond
Makes him an exploding watch (not a pen but still not subtle)
Is salty as a polite potato chip about Bond turning up with Dr. Swann at his hotel room
And letâs not even get started on this:
Actually, no, letâs. Itâs my favorite. I canât think of any other character in the entire franchise, besides maybe Dench!M who would be able to casually disarm Bond. And if she did, it would be more like classic Q grumpily snatching his sandwich back. Q doesnât snatch or get grumpy. He just slides in close, wraps around the gun, and pulls it slowly from Bondâs grasp while basically looking Bond in the eye the whole time. Look, Iâm super ace and slow on the uptake, but Iâd totally get that message.Â
In sum, Bondâs not so much the seducer. Q is.Â
Can I just say that not only is this brilliant headcanon, but itâs so funny I canât stop laughing.Â
It also really makes me want to write fic of all of this using the following tags on Ao3:Â #Mentions mortgage and cats, you know, in case Bond has a kink for stable and well-adjusted #Is salty as a polite potato chip about Bond turning up with Dr. Swann at his hotel room
Also #yes, that ruggedly handsome 00 there, I want that. power couple goals.
Reading this makes me want to dust off my 00Q materials and start making new stuff.
I spent my entire shift at work thinking about an AU where Remus keeps his job at the end of PoA, and Umbridge comes in 5th year to do inspections and keeps trying to find a reason to fire him but no one literally has any bad things to say about him.
Not Draco Malfoy âI know Iâm usually the first to throw someone under the bus but also O.W.L.s ARE this year and Iâm not losing a competent teacher and risking my O.â
Not even Severus Snape, who, when questioned, has to some very fast mental math between who he hates more- Lupin or Umbridge. Not to mention, implying that Lupin could be dangerous due to his lycanthropy would be a self-burn on his own potion making skills, and he assures Umbridge thereâs not a person in the country who brews a more effective wolfsbane potion.
And when Umbridge observes his class (classes, actually, sheâs determined to find a slip up), she sees nothing but students acting ridiculously well behaved, engaging in non-threatening and non-aggressive defensive magical theory, and Lupin standing demurely at the front of the room smiling at her.
(Lupin didnât ask them to do this, of course, but thereâs an unspoken understanding amongst the students that the kid who loses Lupin for the school is going to have their social life fuckin destroyed by every 7th year who finally feel confident in their ability to pass a DADA NEWT, not to mention the unbridled wrath of one Hermione Granger)
I am listening to Silk Rhodes debut album, and Iâm pretty sure thereâs a 00q story buried in there, where each song is a chapter. Itâs breaking my heart…