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Am I going to write it? No. But if I could take a time machine and stop Spectre from happening the way it did, here’s how it would shake out: 

• Keep the scene in Mexico. It was competently executed and Bond’s swaying skeleton hips are an essential part of this film. 
• Keep the opening scenes with M, Tanner, Q, and Moneypenny. Love me some MI6 Squad. 
• Recast C with someone who isn’t Moriarty Guy, so it takes us longer than 0.5 seconds to know that C is an Evil Evil Bad Guy. Give C a “pet the dog” moment so we stand a chance of suspecting that he’s just a bureaucrat doing his job. 
• Un-damsel Lucia Sciarra ASAP. She’s the new Mob Boss of her husband’s crew, and a lot of them are more loyal to her than they are to Spectre, so Bond finds her essentially hiding in a house that’s been made into a fortress, her hired hands bristling with guns. He says, ‘Hey, if you help me stop SPECTRE it’s win/win bc we’ll both have assassins off our backs’ and she’s like, ‘I enjoy being the new Boss now that my husband’s dead, but how about you pay me back for disrupting the status quo before we make a deal’ and then there’s a discreet but clear implication that Bond gives her head. She’s sexily in charge and he knows he needs her help.  
• Bond offers to get Lucia to Felix for protection. She says, ‘I’d love to kick SPECTRE out of here, and I’m going to do my best to disrupt their operations, but I’m not going to be able to hold the line for longer than a week. Tell your friend Felix I’ll see him before [X date].’ This gives Bond a time limit/adds some urgency. 
• Nix the entire stupid foster brother storyline. Blofeld is a bad guy because he wants money and power and he’ll do anything to get it. He hates Bond because Bond wants to kill him for being a bad guy/because M said to. Boom. Done. Convoluted subplot gone. 
• Cast someone else as Blofeld. You heard me, Waltz fans. He was a boring-ass villain. Not scary enough. You can blame a lot of that on the script and the direction, but also his villainous chemistry with Bond just plain sucked. Think about the tension between Bond and Le Chiffre in CR. There was none of that in SPECTRE with Blofeld. 
• (god, I hope they get the right bad guy for Bond 25) 
• Bond visits Mr. White and remembers to wipe the tapes because he’s not a terrible spy. HOWEVER, Hinx manages to follow him anyway…somehow? 
• Bond tells Q about this when Q shows up, and Q is like “oh shit, someone in our network is accessing your Smartblood” and therefore he has a legit reason to turn it off, erasing access to Bond’s location from both sides. SPECTRE isn’t responsible for everything from CR to Skyfall because that’s stupid, but Q does confirm their vast reach across the globe, and that they took over some of Le Chiffre and Quantum’s old bases or something. 
• They don’t try to make Madeleine into a love interest, or if they do they keep it slow-burn. They give Madeleine a legit character arc that involves confronting her fears after a lifetime of running and being afraid. 
• The fight on the train can stay. 

…and, everything after the train fight except the MI6 Squad stuff is kind of shit? 

Bond and Madeleine walking into the dessert like “whattup we’re here to ask you nicely to stop being villains, no we don’t have a plan” gets replaced with an Actual Plan™. 

Blofeld’s torture device gets replaced with something actually scary. 

Blofeld’s hackneyed “woman in an exploding box in an exploding building” plot? What the hell was that? No. Blofeld shouldn’t need ridiculous props to be dangerous; he should be menacing in his own right.  

Even the Nine Eyes thing probs could be changed, considering…it’s kind of already a thing IRL? Like, keep the awesome MI6 Squad shenanigans, just make it so that Spectre is going to use the Nine Eyes to distribute its super secret information tracking program or something. Use C as an example of needing to be careful of smiling white collar criminals hiding in plain view.   

After capturing Blofeld, Bond invites Madeleine to work at MI6 as a psych there while they target the rest of Blofeld’s operations. It’s implied they’re both trying to work on being a little bit more mentally healthy together. 

There’s a shot of the MI6 Squad+Madeleine having a post-Blofeld takeaway right after everything and M being like, “yeah, it’s going to be a shitstorm, but we’ll weather it…and Bond’s just made a very good case for the 00s being reinstated” 

Bond mentions the Aston Martin and Q says something about it being a while before Bond gets another car from him, and Bond just says, “I have time.” 

Because he’s Bond, and he’s not going anywhere.