Zach turns to Chris framed in the doorway. Chris’s backyard is spacious but essentially fortified. What he should have done was go out the front door, call a lyft, get himself a hotel room.
“Zach?” Chris stepped through the door, closing it behind him. Guarding the exit. No way out but the confrontation.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were dating guys?”
Chris’s eyes stare, drop momentarily, and then return, on the defensive. “I didn’t…” his hand comes up to scratch at the back of his neck, “I didn’t think you… ever wanted to know. I should have told him not to mention it.”
Zach boggles, astonished, “Why would you even think I didn’t want to know?”
Chris sighs heavily, crossing his arms, “I dunno, Zach. Any time I dated a woman, you disappeared. I wouldn’t see you.”
“We were apart, or working—”
“Yeah, or you just didn’t want to spend time with straight people, and bi people seem a bit off-color in your crowd too. I can’t believe you asked him if it was practice for the role.”
“I didn’t—”
“Going method? That’s what you said.”
“Well, were you?”
“Have I ever?” Chris’s face is foreboding in the dim.
Zach huffs and turns back to face the low-lit garden, hiding his embarrassment. “How long?”
“How long what?” Chris asks. “How long did I date him, how long since I dated him, or how long have I been bi? Goes something like six months, three years, and forever.”
Zach deflates. For years, he’d run away from it. Stepped back anytime Chris dated, pretended he didn’t see what he thought he saw, up and moved to keep himself from wanting what he couldn’t have. Now here he was, back in LA, house hunting, crashing in Chris’s guestroom and discovering ex boyfriends he hadn’t known about.
“Anyway it’s not like we would’ve…” Chris says and doesn’t finish.
It stabs him in the heart. Wouldn’t we have? He wants to say. Couldn’t we have? “I…” he tries. “I suppose not.”
Are you one of those writers who does outlines? Maybe you could do one and then just fill out little bits at a time? I dunno. My only idea, sorry. On the other hand, you’ve really been cranking out the chapters lately; if you take a lil break there’s nothing wrong with that
The irony is I’ve thought about this chapter every night for the last week as I’ve fallen asleep, and I know exactly how I want it to go then… I just fumble when I’m actually in front of the computer…
Zach knew it was bad, but he didn’t realize how bad it was until Chris’s shoulders start shaking and the muffled sound of a sob splits the silence. He’s already spooned up behind Chris, but now he hugs him tighter, rubbing his nose back and forth over the back of Chris’s neck, stroking his flank and his side and whispering shushing noises.
“I’m just so tired,” Chris says in a watery voice. “I haven’t slept in ages.”
Zach reaches up to comb his fingers through Chris’s hair. “You can sleep now, babe.”
“I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I remember how.”
If Zach ruled the world, he would have forced Chris to rest months ago. Not just get a good night’s sleep but really rest, clear his mind, stop thinking for a while. Although that last part is easier said than done, he knows. Especially easier said than done for Chris, whose brain works more overtime than can possibly be healthy.
“Come here,” Zach says, and tugs on Chris’s shoulder until he spins in Zach’s arms, buries his wet face in Zach’s chest. “It’s alright. You don’t have to get out of bed tomorrow for anything. No work. No more interviews. It’s all over, at least for now.”
Chris takes a deep, shuddering breath and burrows deeper into Zach’s chest. “I feel like an idiot,” he says, his voice muffled in a way that would be adorable if it weren’t so heartbreaking. “It’s not like I work in the fucking salt mines or whatever. My life is easy. My life is–”
“Shhh.” Zach rubs his back in slow circles until he settles. “You’re allowed to get burned out. Your problems aren’t invalid just because other people have worse ones.”
“I’m just sleep deprived, that’s all. I just need to–”
“So sleep, Christopher.” He presses his mouth to Chris’s hair. “Sleep, sweetheart. I’m right here.”
He knows Chris is trying, but it still takes half an hour before his breathing sounds more even, less wet. It takes another fifteen minutes after that before Zach judges that he’s well and truly asleep, heavy and limp in Zach’s arms. Still, Zach doesn’t dare move. Doesn’t want to. He’ll hold Chris all night and be here for him in the morning, and if a good night’s rest isn’t enough to fix it, then they’ll figure out the next step together.
“Wait…what?” Zach lifts up on his elbows and pushes Chris back, just enough to see his face. “You can’t…Okay, please put your penis away for a sec, so I can think.”
Chris sits back on his heels, obediently pulling the blanket across his lap. It doesn’t help. His torso is still on display, not to mention his fucking face, complete with those smile lines Zach adores, and how is he supposed to have this conversation right now?
“Did you really just ask me to move in with you?”
Chris lifts one shoulder in an unconcerned shrug. “Why shouldn’t you?”
It’s too soon. They haven’t defined what this is yet. It’s too much change at once. And it’s definitely not the kind of decision to make mid-hookup, when Zach is still so blown away by the idea of having Chris in his bed again that he can’t be expected to have a single rational thought in his head.
“It’ll save you from having to look for a house in LA,” Chris goes on, oblivious to Zach’s inner struggle, “and I have plenty of room.”
“But you…but we…”
Chris leans forward, the blanket slipping down his thighs until Zach clears his throat and gestures meaningfully with his chin, making him grab it and pull it back up again with a roll of his eyes. He keeps clutching it as he leans in far enough to press his lips to Zach’s jaw, then his cheek. Zach would point out that he’s obeying the letter of the law but not the spirit, but he seems to have temporarily lost his voice.
“We can do whatever we want, Zach,” Chris says against his skin, then kisses the corner of his mouth. “And I want to live with you.”
Later, Zach might wonder what he was thinking. Later, this might be a problem. But right now, he’s finding it hard to care. “Okay,” he says, his arms curling around Chris’s back to hold him close. He can feel Chris’s smile buried against his neck, and he can’t help but smile himself as he says again, “Okay. Yes.”
yeah, but in your 100 you had time and dates. Shouldn’t be included. That pulls it a few less.
I’m pretty sure “real” drabble challenges would count them. This is just for fun, though, so anything short will do. Just speaks to my general lack of concise wording, though…
Look I don’t want to tell them their bidness, but if they don’t case Pine and Quinto in these roles, they’ve done the nation–nay, the WORLD–a grave disservice.
Ato's Fandom Blog 