Tag: ato writes

fanfiction author Ask-9 12 14- bleayverse as a whole. Thanks

Thank you for the asks <3.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?  Like, where Miles comes to his senses and begs Zach to come back after a week in LA and he does and Chris just throws himself into his work, becomes increasingly cynical, remembers those two crazy weeks in the hotel suite in Pittsburgh with fond regret, and sends “cool uncle” gifts to Nathan for the rest of his life?  No.  Nothing like that.  There are a few scenes that started out differently than they ended up, but that was mostly minor tweaking of voices or explanations during arguments.  And there have been a few scenes I had to abandon, like the deleted scene from “Walk Through The Park”, which I loved writing but decided was just indulgent on my part and messed with the pacing of the story.  And normally I’m super indulgent (this is a hobby for me, and so if it’s not fun I really can’t be bothered), so if it was so indulgent that even I thought it should be cut…well you can see where I’m going with this.

12: What do you like least about this fic?  I think there are a few places where I was trying to show differences in how Chris and Zach dealt with stress, but it came out looking like Zach was weak or needy or uncertain and Chris was strong or maybe too aggressive in his independence.  One time is when Zach comes into Chris’ business meeting And Chris reacts not just with gratitude but with a bit of frustration and anger at not being in on the plan.  I got some criticism for that, though I still think Chris’ reaction was reasonable.  The other was when Nathan got sick, and Zach coped by just really focusing on him, and Chris coped by staying busy doing things and not thinking about the scariest potential outcomes until it was over.  People interpreted that as Zach being weak, and really, I think facing those fears as it’s happening is also strong, just different.  I never meant to make Zach look weak, but I must have because so many people interpreted it that way.  I just think people can deal with crises in different ways, and wanted to show that the boys were complementary, not that one was better than the other.  I’m not sure what it would take to fix it, but if I were ever to go back and revise, those would be the places.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?   That sounds sort of premeditated… I don’t really see it as my job to teach readers, but I will say that there were themes I was exploring, that readers might explore them with me.  In Bleary, it’s really the idea that little choices can have major outcomes in your life, and it’s not always bad (i.e. your mistakes don’t necessarily “ruin” your life).  I don’t believe in fate, and I definitely don’t believe that everything happens for a reason (unless you count physics), but I do believe that there are lots of ways to be happy, if you embrace the stochastic events and look for the things that bring you joy (i.e. “surf that wave”).  Zach might not be where he expected to be at the beginning of the story, but he’s genuinely happy with where he is.  As is Chris.

In Cleaving, I’m really exploring the idea that even in basically good relationships, misunderstandings and resentments build up.  We are all busy people with complicated lives trying to balance the personal and professional challenges and responsibilities.  It’s easy to just “take care of business” (whether that be professional or life overhead) and forget to check in with your partner.  And once those resentments and assumptions built up, you sort of have a choice of working your way back through compassion and communication and seeing if there’s still something there worth keeping, or clinging to the resentments and throwing in the towel.  Falling in love is not much of a choice, but staying in love really is.  This from someone who’s been with my partner for 24 years.  We all make mistakes and get caught up in our lives and are neglectful or say things our partners take in ways we never intended because of whatever other stresses are happening in their lives.  Those things are real, and when it becomes all there is, they can be fatal to the relationship.  But sometimes by being mindful and trying to see what your partner is dealing with and focusing on what you loved about each other in the first place and making time for each other, you can go from “you and me against each other” back to “you and me against the world.”  And sometimes, once you see the full context, it’s easy to let those resentments go and the relationship is stronger for the experience.  So yeah, that’s all a little heavy for a “Christmas fic” but that’s what I’m looking at there.  I’ve gotten at least a few comments indicating that the readers are seeing it and appreciative, and so that’s been just wonderful.

Six(ish) Sentence Sunday (NSFW)


More from Cleaving Chapter 7

“I regret nothing.  Last night was fantastic.  It felt so good to be with you again.  If I blush around your mom for a few days, it’s all worth it.”

Zach couldn’t help but respond with a sweet kiss that turned inviting and then heated.  And now when he moaned, Chris didn’t hold back at all.  Fuck it felt absolutely decadent to have a day to themselves where they could just savor each other.  And part of him wanted to take Chris apart right there, but then again, no need to hide behind locked doors.

“Come on,” he whispered.  “Let’s go take a shower.  There’s no drought, and no one to walk in on us.”  

Chris didn’t even answer.  He just smiled and grabbed the bottle of lube and walked — a little stiffly, Zach noted with a smile — naked across the hall, giving Zach a gorgeous view.  He followed Chris, unable to keep his hands to himself, kissing him languidly as the water warmed.  Once the room started filling with steam, they opened the glass door and moved under the water, rotating first so Zach was under the water, then Chris, and finally ending up with Zach pressed against the wall and Chris on his knees and fucking christ it was even better than last night.  Chris had two fingers in him, and was swallowing him down with such enthusiasm he was repeatedly hitting the back of Chris’ throat.   He was far too close to losing it, and that’s not what he wanted this morning.  

“Come here,” he said too softly, tugging at Chris’ hair to make the mind-blowing mouth stop for just a second.  Chris looked up, question in his eyes.

“I want you.”

Six(ish) Sentence Sunday (very late)

ato-the-bean:

From Cleaving…yes, I managed to write a bit more again.

Zach woke to a bright, warm room and a naked Christopher sprawled over him and half the covers gone because someone had overheated and kicked them all off and—

And the sound of the turning door handle, holy shit.   He jerked his head up and met Chris’ with a thunk and a pain in his nose and flashes of Three Stooges scenes dancing in his stinging eyes.  Chris was grabbing at the covers, but their legs were out and there was no way to hide that they were naked.  His mind began searching for something to say to his son when the sound occurred again and he remembered the door was locked.  He grasped Chris’ arm to still him and they both listened as a smal, toddler voice called out, “Daddy!  Babbo!  G’up!”

It was answered by a hushed voice on the other side of the door.  “No, sweet boy.  We’re going to let them sleep, remember.  We’re going out.”

“Grumbles,” Nathan protested.

“We’ll get breakfast on the way to the church.  A special breakfast.  Daddy and Babbo will eat when they get up.  Don’t worry about them.  And we’re going to be gone all day,” she said just a little louder, before they heard her shuffle their son down the stairs.

Chris dropped his forehead onto Zach’s chest, shaking with relieved laughter.  “Your mom is such an enabler,” he said, blushing wildly.  “How loud was I last night?”

They had started out quiet, Zach was sure.  But they had both gotten pretty deep into what they were doing and not particularly aware of their surroundings, the state of the bed and clothes scattered all over the room case in point.  

“Probably best not to think of it,” Zach answered, pulling Chris back down on his chest.  

“I’m going to have to get her some flowers or something before I can look her in the eye again.”

Zach chuckled and held him tighter.  “I’m sure we can find something.  Though I’m pretty sure she’s aware we have sex, so it probably isn’t necessary.”  Truth was, after some of their discussions regarding Chris’ reluctance in wedding planning, his mom might have actually been pleased to hear a few sounds coming through the walls, though he hoped they’d kept it down for the most part.  “Maybe she’s a heavy sleeper?” he added hopefully.

Chris groaned, burying his face in Zach’s chest again.  After a
moment, though he was wrapping his arms around Zach and pressing kisses
into his skin.  “I regret nothing.”

Six(ish) Sentence Sunday (very late)

From Cleaving…yes, I managed to write a bit more again.

Zach woke to a bright, warm room and a naked Christopher sprawled over him and half the covers gone because someone had overheated and kicked them all off and—

And the sound of the turning door handle, holy shit.   He jerked his head up and met Chris’ with a thunk and a pain in his nose and flashes of Three Stooges scenes dancing in his stinging eyes.  Chris was grabbing at the covers, but their legs were out and there was no way to hide that they were naked.  His mind began searching for something to say to his son when the sound occurred again and he remembered the door was locked.  He grasped Chris’ arm to still him and they both listened as a smal, toddler voice called out, “Daddy!  Babbo!  G’up!”

It was answered by a hushed voice on the other side of the door.  “No, sweet boy.  We’re going to let them sleep, remember.  We’re going out.”

“Grumbles,” Nathan protested.

“We’ll get breakfast on the way to the church.  A special breakfast.  Daddy and Babbo will eat when they get up.  Don’t worry about them.  And we’re going to be gone all day,” she said just a little louder, before they heard her shuffle their son down the stairs.

Chris dropped his forehead onto Zach’s chest, shaking with relieved laughter.  “Your mom is such an enabler,” he said, blushing wildly.  “How loud was I last night?”

They had started out quiet, Zach was sure.  But they had both gotten pretty deep into what they were doing and not particularly aware of their surroundings, the state of the bed and clothes scattered all over the room case in point.  

“Probably best not to think of it,” Zach answered, pulling Chris back down on his chest.  

“I’m going to have to get her some flowers or something before I can look her in the eye again.”

Zach chuckled and held him tighter.  “I’m sure we can find something.  Though I’m pretty sure she’s aware we have sex, so it probably isn’t necessary.”  Truth was, after some of their discussions regarding Chris’ reluctance in wedding planning, his mom might have actually been pleased to hear a few sounds coming through the walls, though he hoped they’d kept it down for the most part.  “Maybe she’s a heavy sleeper?” he added hopefully.

Chris groaned, burying his face in Zach’s chest again.  After a
moment, though he was wrapping his arms around Zach and pressing kisses
into his skin.  “I regret nothing.”

Trying to write…

Spent all weekend rling (and decorating for Halloween, because it’s work and I like to relax and enjoy them before I have to put them all away again).  So even though there have been no snippets for a while,  I’m writing now in a local cafe and hope to have some soon.  Because I have the day off, and though I expect to work for a while , I’m doing this first.

I’m in public, though, so can’t really bring up the mood board for part 1 of this chapter as reference 😦

Writing Meme

I was tagged by @loves-pie. Smooch!  ❤

Is there a snack you like to eat while writing?

is whiskey a snack?

What time of day do you usually write?

I usually only have time to write in the evening.  Often late enough that my brain is sorta fried, which explains why everything takes so long.  Sometimes I get to write on the weekends, and that happens in the afternoon.  Sometimes if I’m really on a roll I can write on my phone during my train commute, but that seems less and less frequent.

Where do you write?

On the comfy sofa or out on the patio if home, standing like a human sardine if on the train.

How often do you write a new story?

I tend to do better if I’m only working on one or two things at a time, so not very often.

Do you listen to music while you write?

Depends on the scene, and whether I’m using the music for the story.  I once wrote a…well basically a novel, where a character played piano, and I was always describing the music emotionally.  I listened to a lot of Chopin, Bach, Rach, Scriabin, etc. during those years.  The only music I’ve actively inserted into a Pinto fic is Nakhane Toure’s Just like Heaven in Revelations.  I listened to that album constantly for a few of those chapters. And I listened to some xmas music this summer to help me write the Cleaving scenes.  But generally no.

What’s your writing utensil? Paper or laptop?

Laptop.

Do you have a special pre-writing ritual?

Ask someone online to kick me in the ass and make me write, pretty much.

What do you do to get into the writing mood?

Sprinting helps.  I usually have to read the couple scenes before the one I’m writing to get everything in my head.  Lately, though, I need help to motivate.

What do you always have near the place you write?

Just a drink usually. And my phone.

Do you have a reward system for word counts?

No, though I’m thrilled if I can write 4-500 words in a sitting.

Is there anything else about your writing process your readers don’t know?

Well, I’m not sure this is process, but I’m insecure, like most writers here.  I assume that my fics are too fluffy or too light for the “serious” writers here to like.  But these are the stories the voices in my head want to write… Chris and Zach over the last few years, though that seems to be changing. 

And my stories are always really character driven.  I know the situation the characters are in the beginning, and generally where they end up, but the incremental changes to get from point A to point B, the situations that are going to force the decisions that will create the growth of the character to get from one side of an inflection point to the next… that usually comes from really letting the character take over a corner of my inner space and getting a sense of what has them worried, where their priorities are, what they are doing to themselves that the don’t even quite realize, etc.  If I try to do it from the top down…impose an outline on the character, they usually rebel, and I get nowhere.  But if I put them in a situation and ask them, “so what are you going to do about it?” they generally answer.  And when they do…that is the best feeling.

No idea who has already been tagged, but I’ll tag… @elisa-pie, @hopeforyouyet, @blushingkate​, @mightymads, @nostalgia-in-starlight, @psychoticpterodactyl16, @shards-of-divinity, @suedescripture.

Ok Closer by The Chainsmokers is a huge Chris/Zach song for me and reading your pinto fics makes me hear that song when they interact cause it’s so perfect for them. It’s just that idea of never getting older and just being together. I get that vibe so much from your writing. Amazing job, honestly!! Thank you for all your work!

Oh, I’ll have to look it up and have a listen.  Thanks anon!  (are you the same anon as this morning?  I don’t think I’ve ever gotten 2 anons in one day).  I’m so glad you enjoy my writing!  Thanks so much for letting me know.