smileslikeparentheses:

you-had-me-at-e-flat-major:

directordanic:

superlockedhogwartianinthetardis:

keepcalm-andpartyyon:

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

A question mark walks into a bar?

Two quotation marks “Walk into” a bar.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.

The bar was walked into by a passive voice.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

THANKS FOR TEACHING ME THINGS THAT ENGLISH CLASS HAS FAILED TO ACKNOWLEDGE

More, please.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar. It orders a pint of beer, some snacks, and a shot.

A split infinitive used to often walk into a bar.

There is a bar which a preposition-ended sentence walked into.

An emphatic copula did walk into a bar.

A present subjunctive walked into a bar hoping that he be able to order a drink.

A typo walks into a bra

Harry Potter and How the Scene Should Have Gone

Umbridge: Mr. Potter, do you expect to be attacked in my class?
Harry: Yes.
Umbridge: What?
Harry: Well, I mean, I’m running four for four.
Umbridge: Mr. Potter-
Harry: Quirrel tried to choke me out.
Umbridge: Mr. Potter-
Harry: And Lockhart tried to wipe my memory.
Umbridge: Mr. Potter-
Harry: Of course, Professor Lupin didn’t mean it. He just forgot his potion, but still, totally went werewolf on me.
Umbridge: MR. POTTER-
Harry: And then Moody turned out to be an escaped Death Eater in disguise.
Umbridge: POTTER!
Harry: So, yeah, I figure it’s 100% you’ll attack me in June, 50/50 you’ll try to kill me, with a 25% chance of an Unforgivable curse.
Harry: (Turns to Hermione)
Harry: Did I get the math right?
Hermione: Yes.

rycolfan:

Seeing that The Mummy remake has got a 23% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a mountain of terrible reviews

Via rycolfan: #*cackles* #the mummy 2017 #the mummy remake #trash #the only thing i feel bad about is sofia boutella being caught up in this trainwreck #they should have just called it mission impossible: the mummy #lbr #time to watch the brendan fraser version again

This is all so perfect. I saw the trailer and thought, ‘huh, so scary and not kitsch or funny…that’s just wrong.’  It looked terrible even in the trailers.  I’m sort of relieved my gut was right, Sophia’s involvement notwithstanding.