– They use terms like lemons, smut, or UST to talk about the genre of their fic.
– They have squicks.
– They want you to have squicks. Which isn’t to say that they want to squick you, just that it’s a useful term.
– *glomps*
– They leave long comments on everything the read. Possibly not in the tags. They might do something super bizarre like send a message or put their thoughts on the end of your post.
– They write disclaimers on everything. Or on literally anything, since nobody does that anymore.
– They write about orbs, and those orbs are cerulean.
– Or literally anything else is cerulean. Cerulean is an outdated term. I’m calling it.
– The tongues of their characters are still battling for dominance, even though it’s 2017, and really a winner should have been declared by now.
– They have a fear of Mary Sue.
– Characters in their modern AU are chatting on AIM instant messenger, and calling each other on landlines. There are references to Ceiling Cat, because the characters are hip to meme culture. This AU is ~modern~ after all.
– Their fic is interlaced with slightly relevant song lyrics (disclaimer, they didn’t write the song.)
– They don’t do any of above, because they are New Fandom Savy, but they write or reblog nostalgic posts about these things.
– They had a livejournal.
– They still have a livejournal.
– They ended up on tumblr only after getting into a new fandom, searching livejournal for content and fellow fans, and suddenly coming to the startling realization that livejournal has become a barren wasteland of tumbleweeds and chirping crickets.
– They miss their geocities site.
– They wrote fic for the X-Files while the original nine seasons were still airing.
– Bonus, they wrote fic for the original Star Trek and published it in a zine, before the Internet was a thing. That’s like super mega fandom old.
– They might be less inclined to call themselves “trash”, but they are totally out there, reading all the things.
LIke who are these guys and what makes them think any of this is ok?
like the touching and the eye contact and the ‘deep bros’ and the chemistry and pheromones radiating from them?!
like, why are they sitting so close? why are they smiling like that? why doesn’t my husband look at me like that? and why is chris blushing again? and why does zach look like he has a secret?
and omg was that an inside joke? and what the fuck was that about? and chris with the pronoun games, and zach with non answers to pointed questions?
and friends don’t to that! or this! or those other things!
and why are they touching again? and they know this is being filmed but is it they dont care? do they care and this is ‘toned down’?
why are you still gazing at each other damn it?! can they ever not?
how did this happen to me? i never was this person. but these fuckers with their questions that never (will never) get answered.
me: i’m a good writer. i know my worth and i’m confident in my skill set and i know i can do this.
me, five minutes later: what if i’m terrible? what if everyone who has ever read my work and thought it was good was lying? too afraid to tell me the truth? blackmailed by aliens? what if everything i write is terrible and too scattered/forced/hollow what if i don’t know how to make a sentence. where do verbs go. how do u emotion
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