I was tagged by @loves-pie​ and @captainkatieb​ – smooch! ❤

A fun fact about my…

Family: My
grandfather is still alive (94), still living on his own in an
apartment in my town.  Every week we invite him over for dinner and a
movie with out family (including his two great-granddaughters).  So far
we’ve gone through all the Marvels, all the Harry Potters, and sundry
other kids’ or scifi films.  He says he likes knowing what the kids are
talking about.  And every Sunday, he gets calls from all over the
country from sisters and grandkids and nieces and nephews, and they all
ask what the movie was this week.  He’s currently on book 5 of the Harry
Potter books, much to the delight of my cousins who have tried to get
him to read them for years, apparently.

Pets: 1 dog who thinks he’s a cat and cannot abide me sitting on the sofa typing on my laptop and NOT petting him.

Hometown: I
moved away for college, came back a few summers, left for good after
grad school, and then moved back within a half mile of the house I lived
in during high school when I was 40 so my kids would know their family
and be taught evolution in the public schools (we’d been living in a
state where that was NOT the case.

Job/career: Ecologist working in coastal wetlands and sea level rise, among other things.

School/college: Degrees in biology and environmental science.

Hobbies: I danced until I was thirty.  Modern, tap, and flamenco.

Body: My hair is currently dark brown with red and blonde highlights and spiky, messy, pixie cut.  And I have a nose piercing.  And I’ve lost 30 lbs since April.

House: Much
of the art in our living room are pictures that my husband and I took
scuba diving, which I then tripped out in photoshop until the subjects
looked more like texture than critters.

Not sure who’s done this.  I’ll tag @mightymads​, @multifandom-madnesss​, @elisa-pie​, @blushingkate​. @psychoticpterodactyl16​, @commodorecliche​, @seepunkrun​, and @nixsducky​.

Stories Lost in the Void

mightymads:

tell me about your 3 favorite fic ideas that you’ve wanted to write but somehow didn’t do (or didn’t finish/ didn’t upload)

I was tagged by @ato-the-bean​. Thanks again, ato! Long post, tldr type XD

1. Married Pinto. Vaguely inspired by the story of Vivien Leigh and Laurence Olivier, but with a happy ending. Something I intended to explore, but gave up because it got too angsty, and I can’t handle much angst for the last two years.

Chris and Zach have been happily married for eight years. While continuing starring in Trek, Zach focused on theater more, and somehow, gradually, his Hollywood career went downhill. He appeared less and less in other famous blockbusters and remained known only for Trek and as Chris’s husband, because unlike him, Chris is a megastar. Chris is always in the hottest selling movies, he’s very well acclaimed and considered one of the most talented actors of the generation. Zach is happy for Chris and doesn’t mind being called ‘Mrs. Pine’ behind his back. Zach devotes much time and energy to his new project: a movie he directs and stars in. Directing and starring is very demanding physically, as Leonard used to say, and now Zach can totally relate, but this project is his baby. He offered Chris a part, but Chris’s schedule didn’t allow it. Nevertheless, Chris looks forward to see the film and is biggest Zach’s fan. Then Chris is awarded an Oscar while Zach’s movie is a box office flop. The reviews are unfavorable, and Zach is exhausted. Chris supports Zach as he can, but he’s always busy. At the Oscar ceremony some startlet blatantly flirts with Chris, ignoring Zach’s presence. Chris is infuriated, but Zach thinks to himself that he became virtually a nobody in Hollywood. When Chris receives the award on stage, Zach realizes that his cheering for Chris is insincere. That behind it there’s bitterness and even envy. He’s horrified – how did he turn into this, where did the love go? He keeps appearances good for the rest of the evening for Chris’s sake, because it’s Chris’s big day. Later Zach becomes withdrawn, keeps all his problems to himself against his therapist’s advice. Friends, family, and first of all, Chris, of course, notice, but Zach refuses to admit that anything is wrong. The pressure begins to affect his health: he has insomnia, becomes irritable, doesn’t feel well. Chris gets seriously concerned. When he confronts Zach and doesn’t let the topic go, Zach asks for a divorce, because he can’t be a good husband to Chris anymore. Chris is crushed. When Zach blurts out everything that accumulated for so long, Chris says that nothing is more important for him than their marriage. He cancels or puts on hold all his projects and pays huge termination fees despite Zach’s protests. They have therapy sessions together and then go for a long vacation to Europe. They figure out how to communicate better, how to balance their careers and family life, they grow even closer than they have been. They’re still on vacation when their agents contact them about a new Trek installment. They return home and can’t wait for the Trek family reunion. And then, Zach’s beloved project gets a huge following, turns out to be a cult film, just like Blade Runner, which was a box office flop, but eventually found its audience.

2. Cinnamon Pie. The result of headcanon exchange with

@shards-of-divinity and @satismagic. Oldie but goodie.

So imagine a 25-year old Pie, fresh after Berkeley, teaching English at school, all cute and in his glasses, he’s a very good teacher and kind to kids. An acquaintance mentions once half-jokingly that with his looks Pie could be a model. Pie needs money because independent life is hard, so he takes that seriously and decides to give it a try. Thus he meets Zach the photographer.That’s how those horrible photos come up. Zach asks him to pose and “be sexy”. Chris has no idea what he’s doing, Zach nearly laughs himself to death. He walks over to Chris and positions him how he wants him. Chris is red and awkward but trying hard to impress him and follow his directions. Zach is all glamorous, a tad cynical and a player. In this fashion world where relationships have no real connection he just forgot how to feel, didn’t use the feels for quite a while. Chris is just so funny and smart and dorky and caring. He doesn’t even know his appeal and that’s attractive. Also he’s passionate about what he does and cares about people. He is something fresh and untainted. Chris hasn’t met anyone like Zach: so smart, funny, with that sarcastic sense of humor, so professional. Zach as a kind of male gay Annie Leibovitz who really captures the essence of people. He had that gift from the very beginning, when he started with art photography. And it really sort of clicked – they shared views on many things and could talk for hours. There was also something he can’t quite put his finger on, he is just drawn to him. Perhaps he feels subconsciously that Zach is actually kind, unlike many others in this sphere. If Zach makes fun of him it’s never mean, at least not intentionally. Eventually Chris gets a hang of modeling. He and Zach often go out together on more than just “after a shoot drinks to wind down”. However, work at school is Chris’s priority. He’d rather cancel a shooting than a lesson. He explains that he’s really invested in his students and makes sure they do well. He tells Zach about kids who get bullied coming to him and sharing their problems. Chris understands them very well because he had his own awkward phase. Zach tells Chris about his own teenage angst over a couple of beers, so they bond over this. Chris is involved with the LGBTQ club at his school, and when his summer project with them gets cancelled because of lack of funds, Zach volunteers. He’s normally pretending to be too much of cynic for that but when the chairman of the PTA ridicules Chris for his idealistic plans Zach steps in. Still, Zach, being spoiled as he is, doesn’t miss a chance to seduce the naive Pie, then they end up in bed, and it’s the most sensual experience Pie has ever had. The sex is great plus Pie is in love. It is so intense that Chris’s eyes of blue shine with tears. He has already accepted himself as bi and has been with a guy before, but Zach really shows what awesome is. Chris is overwhelmed. He is shaking and moaning and clutching the sheets, he is so laughably unsophisticated. But somehow Zach isn’t repelled by his dorkiness whereas usually he would be. Zach doesn’t even realize his feelings for Chris at first, he just does it like with many others, many times before.Towards the end of shooting they have a fallout. Zach would still say at times that Chris is wasting his potential not being a full-time model. He also doesn’t view his relationship with Chris as exclusive and is surprised when Chris is upset by seeing him with another man.Chris doubts whether the thing they had was real at all. They finish the shooting, but the atmosphere is heavy. Chris receives his payment which will support him for quite a while and returns to his simple life. He is hurting about the whole experience and focuses on work, finds it very accomplishing. But he can’t date anyone just yet, although he tries a couple of times. He’s still sore about Zach. That lifestyle turned out to be too wild for him after all. Chris knows for sure that he wants a relationship where you don’t have to doubt and be afraid that you’re going too deep. Zach, meanwhile, lives as he lived, but something is off in his life. He can’t find satisfaction in anything. Sex with no strings attached doesn’t help. He realizes that he felt better as a person when Chris was around. Zach tries to change his direction in photography. He doesn’t quit fashion shoots, but makes some time for art photography as well. It reminds him of his old mentor and friend he got out of touch with. One day he just calls Leonard, and they agree to meet. They have a long talk, and this is a turning point. Zach understands what he’s missing. He goes to mend things with Chris if Chris will have him. Chris is suspicious of him at first, but when Zach explains himself, Chris throws his arms around him and doesn’t let go.

3. Magical Vase AU or Weird Pinto. I tried to write it, but gave it up for my current TOS K/S.

Zach is a talented cellist, but life in New York is a far cry from something he dreamed of. He didn’t pass the audition into the orchestra he wanted, and had to join another, also a good one, but the conductor there is a total dick. It poisons the whole creative process, it’s a tyranny, and Zach hates his work with passion. There’s no other equal opportunity, although Zach keeps searching. He doesn’t want to give up yet and go back to Pittsburgh. One day, after a draining matinee, Zach falls asleep on a bench in Central Park and sees a weird dream: he’s walking in the forest and finds a cabin. He knocks. The door is opened by a stunning blue-eyed guy in plain jeans, a white shirt and a potter’s apron. They don’t talk, but the potter invites Zach in with a gesture. The house is cozy inside, there are so many unusual vases, sculptures, figurines. The potter’s eyes crinkle as he smiles at Zach a bit bashfully. Zach feels so safe and at ease here. He sits in a comfortable chair while the potter makes a wonderful vase for him. 

Zach wakes up on the bench with the vase from his dream at his side! He looks around, but there’s no cue who could leave the vase. Zach shrugs and takes the vase home. From that day on, no matter how tired he is, when he gets home, all his bad emotions go away. He tells his good friend Zoe about this strange occasion, and when Zoe comes to see the vase, Noah is so excited to see her, that he accidentally knocks off the vase and breaks it. Zach and Zoe are crestfallen. Zoe pays attention to the monogram at the bottom of the broken vase: CP. What could it be? Central Park? She and Zach start to research pottery and antique shops, both online and through friends, but at first find nothing. Then, after a few weeks Zach gets a text from Zoe with an address. Zach visits the shop and sees works similar in style to his vase. The shop’s owner is that very guy from his dream! He’s gorgeous and his name is Chris. He moved to NY not long ago, and his shop makes just enough money to make ends meet. Chris doesn’t have many friends, so he feels lonely at times. They hit it off, Zach shows him all his favorite places in NY and introduces Chris to his friends. Everyone loves Chris, and Zach is in love. They start dating, and everything is great: they talk for hours, the sex is amazing, and all life problems don’t seem so bad because they have each other. It turns out that the one who put the vase next to a sleeping Zach was Zach’s neighbor: an eccentric English gentleman Sir Ian. It was his way to cheer up Zach, because Sir Ian loved to listen to Zach practicing. Little by little Chris’s shop becomes known, and then Zach finally gets into the orchestra he had in mind. Chris and he celebrate in Zach’s apartment and after having sex, fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Zach wakes up alone. Chris is nowhere to be seen. It’s unlike him – no clothes, no message, no nothing. Zach picks up his phone to call Chris, but can’t find his number. He tries calling the shop, but the person who answers doesn’t know Chris or his shop. Zach calls his friends, but everyone is weirded out – they say Zach has no boyfriend Chris. Zach gets angry, thinking that it’s some elaborate prank. He browses his phone, but all pictures he took with Chris – he’s alone in those photos. Panicking, he runs down to Sir Ian’s, but Sir Ian says he gave Zach a painting, not a vase. Even Chris’s shop is not there, there’s Starbucks instead. The only relative Chris had was his sister Katie, but when Zach goes to her, she doesn’t know him. She says she has no younger brother, and after much pleading from Zach, she snaps that her mom had a miscarriage, and she most certainly has no siblings. She encourages Zach to seek medical attention. Heartbroken, Zach is almost ready to admit that he’s crazy. He makes an appointment with a doctor, but the night before he goes to the same bench. Maybe he’ll see Chris in a dream for the last time.

Zach wakes up at some tropical beach, and Chris is sleeping next to him. Zach is beside himself with happiness. If he’s crazy, he doesn’t want to be sane, if it’s a dream, he doesn’t want it to end. He wakes Chris up with frantic kisses, and Chris is as exalted to find Zach. He says he woke up alone in his shop, and same story – no one around ever heard of Zach. When he visited Zach’s orchestra, they said there was a cellist with such name back in the 1930s. In the archive photos Chris recognized Zach. So Chris was about to visit a psychiatrist too. 

They wander around the beach, trying to figure out where they are. And gradually memories start to rush in: that in fact they are actors, just married, and went on a yacht to Bermuda islands for their honeymoon. There was a storm, they shipwrecked in the middle of sea, and they don’t remember how they got to land. They start to doubt whether they’re even alive. However, dead people don’t get thirsty or hungry. They find a banana grove and a spring with fresh water. The next day coast guard comes to their rescue. 

I tag @satismagic and the whole @pintobar. Always there to hear your stories.

Counting Meme

Tagged by @rycolfan. Yay! 🙂
One movie: Shawshank Redemption
Two songs: Foreshadowing by Duncan Sheik and Folksong by The Sundays
Three people: Douglas Adams, Richard Dawkins, Chris Pine
Four shows: Sherlock, Elementary, Sens8, Game of Thrones
Five foods: pear-Gorgonzola pizza, fondu, aloo gobi, banana pancakes, mint-Oreo ice cream

Six peeps: @seepunkrun , @mightymads, @nixsducky, @blushingkate, @elisa-pie, and @klinfield.

Movie Tag Thing

Name 6 movies you can watch any time and then tag 6 people. I was tagged by @semper-ama, and  it happened to come in during my lunch break..yay!  Thanks bb!

Hmmm.  At the moment, off the top of my head…

  1. Star Trek (obviously)
  2. Pride & Prejudice 2005 (I love the 1995, but can only watch a 6-hr miniseries when I’m actually sick and have to lie down for hours)
  3. Shawshank Redemption
  4. Amélie
  5. Ever After (I have kids)
  6. The Two Towers (aka, Aragorn is beautiful and kicks ass)

And I will tag @mightymads, @suedescripture, @blushingkate, @elisa-pie, @loves-pie, @hopeforyouyet, @respeckled, and @pinto4life7.

Book Meme

rules: in a text post, list 10 books that have
stayed with you in some way. don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t
think too hard – they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works,
just the ones that have touched you. tag 10 friends, including me, so
I’ll see your list. make sure you let your friends know you’ve tagged
them!

I was tagged by @mightymads (thanks love!!)

1. “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen – Anyone (mostly men) who thinks Jane Austen writes women who faint away at proposals of marriage has clearly never read Elizabeth Bennett giving a would-be-fiance a piece of her “lively” and honest mind.  Funny and endearing and heartbreaking, the characters face their own real flaws and find reasons to rethink their outlooks and be better…I just love this book.  I seriously reread it every time I can no longer quote dialog from memory. I have no idea how many times.

2. “The Forgetten Beasts of Eld” by Patricia A. McKillip – The first book I read where the female lead was overwhelmed by the righteous, terrible destructiveness of her own fury, and didn’t care how much scorched earth she took with her.  Revelatory to my the 14 year old mind.

3. “Complete Works” by  E.E. Cummings.  I used to keep this book by my bed and read a poem or two every night.   When I was 25 I met a man who did the same.  We’ve been together more than two decades.

4. “Late Night Thoughts While Listening to Mahler’s Ninth Symphony” and “The Medusa and The Snail” by Lewis Thomas – These are both books of essays and they all run together for me, so I couldn’t pick one.  Part science, part philosophy, part humor, and part pragmatism, when I was young and trying to decide what to do with my life, I found solace in Thomas’ ruminations.  All of you may like his “On Punctuation,” which is both accurate and hysterical.

5. “Animal Dreams” by Barbara Kingsolver – I know a lot of people who don’t like Kingsolver’s books, and I don’t love them all, but I do love this one.  The first time I saw multiple POV with different mental states in one book.  First time I realized that I couldn’t trust my narrators perceptions, and how even those of us without diagnosed mental illness can have our perceptions and understanding and even memory skewed by everyday traumas.  And the prose is divine.  I’ve used quotes from this book in Bleary.

6. “Les Misérables” by Victor Hugo – It took me an entire summer to get through the unabridged novel, and the oppression in the book matched the oppression I saw around me in early 1990s, and it was sort of a psychological event.  The side plots not in the familiar musical version speak mostly of the capriciousness of fate, and how tenuous all our stations can prove.  Fantastic, but not something to read if you have depressive leanings.

7. “Wonderful Life” by Stephen Jay Gould – This is not the “angel gets its wings” Wonderful Life… this is about the Cambrian period (500 million years ago) as exposed in the Burgess Shale, and the capriciousness of fate as applied to evolution.  Fantastic read, and definitely shakes you out of that “monkeys to man” linear view of evolution that was so prevalent and wrong.  Plus, the creatures preserved in those fossils were crazy.

8. “Earthsea Quartet” by Ursula K LeGuin – When I was growing up, I loved the trilogy: the idea that names were magical and secret and could bind or free you.  But as an adult, my favorite is the fourth, Tehanu, written when LeGuin herself was much older.  It speaks to the power of an ordinary life and relationships, and it’s just beautiful.

9. “Tam Lin” by Pamela Dean.  I love retellings of old stories.  Most of the ones I have are feminist retellings of myths or fairytales, but the ballad of Tam Lin is already pretty feminist.  This novel reads like a coming of age “girl goes to college” sort of book.  The magic is woven in so subtly it’s almost like a mystery unraveling with little clues here and there among the details of collegiate life.  It sort of defies genres in that way cutting across mystery, realistic fiction, and fantasy.  It’s longish, but I was familiar with the myths being referenced, so once I started spotting the incongruities, I was hooked.  If I ever write o-fic, I imagine it will be this sort of  fusion of ordinary and arcane.

10. “Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood – Read this book and then listen to congress or Fox News and tell me it isn’t the scariest thing you’ve ever read.  Religious extremism and environmental catastrophe in our own culture, and doing what SciFi does best…taking current events to their logical conclusion to illustrate how fucked up the things we are contemplating really are.  It was written 30 years ago, and is just as scarily in sync with news now as it was then.

Bonus Book: “We Learn Nothing” by Tim Kreider.  He is my favorite irreverent cartoonist and essayist.  Vulgar at times, but also insightful and very funny.  His rants in the “artists notes” accompanying the comic in “The Pain (When Will It End?)” are legendary, and the essays in this book are their more thoughtful, unrushed cousins.   Here’s a nice excerpt contemplating a near-death experience: Reprieve

I’m tagging @illneverstopsayingyourname, @silent-bridge, @stellarbisexual@suckmykirk, @blushingkate, @loves-pie, @pinto4life7, and anyone else who hasn’t been tagged yet.

As usual, only if you want to.

I was tagged by mightymads. It’s so fun seeing you here.

Why did you choose your url?

When I first started writing fanfic I tried to sign up for FFn, but all my usual online names were unavailable.  I tried for like ten minutes, and if a final act of desperation I tried AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed and it worked.  That got shortened to ATONAU, and when I decided I needed a Pinto Only blog, Ato-the-Bean.

What is your Middle name?

The…obviously.

If you could own a fairytale/fictional pet, what would it be?

Fire-lizards… at least 4.

http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/pern/images/c/c4/HarperHallTrilogy.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120614020736

Favorite color?

Green… from chartreuse to teal

Favorite Song?

God, this is always so hard… I can’t even come up with favorite composer, but here are a few:  Duncan Sheik, Seal, Zero7, Frou Frou, David Poe, Norah Jones, Jamie Cullum, Melody Gardot…

Here’s a song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDSH0UV-8-g

What are your top three fandoms?

Star Trek AOS, Pinto, Johnlock

What do you enjoy about tumblr?

Fandom, mostly.  Broadening the views I see, with the realization that some of the folks here are a bit crackers…

So, if you have time and a wish to participate: scifishipper, nixsducky, keep-calm-and-ks, loves-pie