mikasoze:

oldloves:

Uma Thurman & Ethan Hawke married in 1998 and divorced after seven years amidst allegations that Hawke was unfaithful. Hawke is now married to the couples former nanny.

In an interview with Oprah Winfrey Thurman opened up about the split:

“When I was first going through my separation, someone said to me, ‘It will take you half as long as you were in the relationship before you’ll feel better.’ And I wanted to knock them out cold across the table. Because, of course, I was in agony. And the last thing I wanted to think was that I was going to stay that way for a long time. But interestingly enough, it is over four years later – we were together eight years – and I finally feel like, cool. I feel better.”

Thurman went onto to admit  that although “I’ve been so cool for so long” the split was “excruciating” and that her self-esteem was “pretty mangled.” 

“You can move on, and you can be lucky and you can seize the moment and you can take one step after another…but you bear two children with somebody – that’s not a small thing – and then you can hardly talk to them.“ 

Hawke has since also commented on the relationship in an interview:

“We fell madly in love and wanted to do all that. We tried to be as optimistic as we could be. We all want to believe in love and the possibility of love.”

but continued

 “People have such a childish view of monogamy and fidelity. ‘He’s cheated so he’s bad, she’s cheated so she’s bad,’ as opposed to a recognition that our species is not monogamous,” he continued. “To act all indignant, that your world has been rocked because your lover wasn’t faithful to you, is a little bit like acting rocked that your hair went grey.”

He added: “Human beings are sexual beings.”

…except no, because fidelity is part of trust. you TRUST that your spouse isn’t going to go off and fuck someone else, unless you’re in an open relationship. if you destroy that trust and you’re in a monogamous relationship, then yes, you’re a shit human being.

grey hair comes naturally, cheating does not.

I like Ethan most of the time, but this is one thing I really don’t like him on. I think this interview was a while back, so I kinda hope he’s thought about this stance more, but then again, probably not. IDK.

preach it Mika!   This is some sort of warped entitlement.  “I’m sexual, so I get to have sex with whomever I want, social and interpersonal constructs be damned.”  Polyamory is different.  There, everyone is consenting to the addition of other partners.  But pretending to be monogamous, entering into a monogamous marriage, promising fidelity, cheating, and then belittling the the other person for having unrealistic expectations that were (by the way) based on what you said you’d do?  That’s nonsense.

"Our species is not monogamous.”  There are a bunch of married people (or people in committed relationships) who haven’t cheated on their spouses who disagree.  Don’t paint us with your bullshit.