Well, here we are for AOS Spock. Shy, vulnerable, angst-ridden, young Spock. My favorite part of the AOS movies… None of these GIFS are mine, I just love Spock and want to share him!
^ Spock’s not-so-subtle stare of longing. I love this idea that the rules of eye contact are still unclear to Spock with his Vulcan upbringing, so he’s kind of trying to figure it out as he goes.
^ The downwards-upwards glance. There’s something very shy and avoidant about that.
^ This expression is tremendously sad in my opinion, because Pike was Spock’s mentor as well and while Jim can openly express his emotion about Pike’s death, Spock just bottles it up, and never speaks of it.
^ I imagine this is how Spock acts in social environments that aren’t strictly work-related.
^ that look hurts my soul. There’s such loss in those eyes.
^ I think Spock really struggles to understand the value of his life to Jim and the emotions surrounding that. He’s not trying to freeze anyone out; he just can’t comprehend why people care about him.
^ @sunfell, here’s that swallow you were talking about! You’re absolutely right that this is a characteristic of Spock’s that is so subtle and vulnerable. Also, this pic really captures the loneliness and pain that Spock endures. He doesn’t feel like he fits in anywhere…
^ I love the way Spock tilts his head slightly.
^ Spock risks his life and his command of the Enterprise in this moment to save the family he’s likely been estranged from.
^ me too. I think this is a really intense thing about Spock. He CAN’T control his emotions at times, and he feels so ashamed about that. Imagine carrying around all this grief and anger and loneliness and struggling with this idea that you’ve betrayed your culture in expressing what hurts you inside.
^ Instructor Spock. Always apart from others, always different from the rest.
^ NO. DON’T DO THIS TO ME.
^ You can see the fear in Spock’s eyes. He can’t say it, but he desperately wants Jim to stay, to remain safe beside him.
^ when Spock has to face his fears of being replaced and unwanted. 😥
^ It is always a struggle to restrain his emotion, to try to meet that compromise between Vulcan expectations and Human desires, to deal with the fallout of his own soul.
I know there are more GIFs out there than this, but I didn’t want to keep you guys waiting too long for more angst Spock. Spock is so vulnerable; it’s what drew me into this fandom. I’m glad so many people feel similarly. LLAP! Or, you know, go cry over Spock’s need for hugs. That’s probably what I’m going to do now…
vulcan is sixteen light years from earth. meaning: light from vulcan takes sixteen years to travel the immense distance between the two planets. meaning: vulcan would still be visible from earth, a faint and distant pinprick of light amongst a sea of others, for sixteen years after its destruction, despite it being gone forever.
Yup. That realization inspired this. And others have played with the concept as well.
Well, here we are for AOS Spock. Shy, vulnerable, angst-ridden, young Spock. My favorite part of the AOS movies… None of these GIFS are mine, I just love Spock and want to share him!
^ Spock’s not-so-subtle stare of longing. I love this idea that the rules of eye contact are still unclear to Spock with his Vulcan upbringing, so he’s kind of trying to figure it out as he goes.
^ The downwards-upwards glance. There’s something very shy and avoidant about that.
^ This expression is tremendously sad in my opinion, because Pike was Spock’s mentor as well and while Jim can openly express his emotion about Pike’s death, Spock just bottles it up, and never speaks of it.
^ I imagine this is how Spock acts in social environments that aren’t strictly work-related.
^ that look hurts my soul. There’s such loss in those eyes.
^ I think Spock really struggles to understand the value of his life to Jim and the emotions surrounding that. He’s not trying to freeze anyone out; he just can’t comprehend why people care about him.
^ @sunfell, here’s that swallow you were talking about! You’re absolutely right that this is a characteristic of Spock’s that is so subtle and vulnerable. Also, this pic really captures the loneliness and pain that Spock endures. He doesn’t feel like he fits in anywhere…
^ I love the way Spock tilts his head slightly.
^ Spock risks his life and his command of the Enterprise in this moment to save the family he’s likely been estranged from.
^ me too. I think this is a really intense thing about Spock. He CAN’T control his emotions at times, and he feels so ashamed about that. Imagine carrying around all this grief and anger and loneliness and struggling with this idea that you’ve betrayed your culture in expressing what hurts you inside.
^ Instructor Spock. Always apart from others, always different from the rest.
^ NO. DON’T DO THIS TO ME.
^ You can see the fear in Spock’s eyes. He can’t say it, but he desperately wants Jim to stay, to remain safe beside him.
^ when Spock has to face his fears of being replaced and unwanted. 😥
^ It is always a struggle to restrain his emotion, to try to meet that compromise between Vulcan expectations and Human desires, to deal with the fallout of his own soul.
I know there are more GIFs out there than this, but I didn’t want to keep you guys waiting too long for more angst Spock. Spock is so vulnerable; it’s what drew me into this fandom. I’m glad so many people feel similarly. LLAP! Or, you know, go cry over Spock’s need for hugs. That’s probably what I’m going to do now…
I’ve been so jammin on Sad Spock lately… this gif set is perfect!
The recording ends and loops to the beginning again, just as Spock becomes aware of a presence beside him. He sees a gold shirt in his peripheral vision, and blue eyes reflected in the glass of the terminal, struggling for context and understanding. It does not take long. As the gold dot reappears, Kirk gasps softly. His captain knows. Sees. Spock should perhaps feel shame at being caught wallowing in such sentimentality, but instead he feels relief to be standing shoulder to shoulder with Kirk in the face of such pain.
“When did you record this?” he asks in a hushed tone, hesitantly, as if he is asking something personal Spock might not wish to divulge.
“Before I confirmed Ensign Chekov’s telemetry and offered to board the Romulan vessel.” After his father admitted to loving his mother. After he admitted the desire for vengeance. Illogical.
They stand in silence as the video loops again. Spock feels Kirk’s hand on his shoulder. Not demanding, not nearly as intrusive as it should feel. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save her.” Jim’s voice is wistful, and Spock looks up sharply, surprised that Kirk has understood the real significance of the recording.
“Captain, I do not hold you respons—”
“Jim,” Kirk corrects quietly. “In moments like this, it should be Jim.”
By the time Captain Ivanivna of the USS Ride comes aboard, he and Captain Kirk have completed an abbreviated report on the status of the Enterprise and copied the ship’s logs of the events since the Enterprise responded to Vulcan’s distress signal a day ago. He sways on his feet, sure that his internal clock has been compromised as well. But no. His universe has been cleaved and bent and rendered unrecognizable, and it has been just over a day.
The crew is exhausted, but no one tries to go off duty. Only when Kirk sees an engineer injure himself and a console because sleep deprivation made his hand shake does he mandate four hours of rest to all crew on a rotating basis. Spock ignores it.
They meet Captain Ivanivna in the transporter room. She has seen the site of the battle of Vulcan, deceptively clean because most of the wreckage was swallowed by the black hole. She seems amazed to find the Enterprise intact, but even more shocked to learn that the cadet brought up on academic dishonesty charges is apparently the savior of earth. Beside him, Kirk bristles. Not from accusations of cheating, but the idea that he deserves such credit. Kirk hands her the data padd, speaking of Mr. Scott and Mr. Chekhov’s brilliance, Mr. Sulu’s piloting skills, Lt. Uhura’s unique ability to decode Romulan, and Spock’s crucial role. Kirk speaks of him with a tone that connotes pride or awe. Spock does not understand. He corroborates the events that led to Kirk being captain, and refers to him as captain throughout the meeting, in an attempt to make clear his support.
What he does understand, as he walks an empty corridor after the meeting, is that he will disembark the Enterprise — the ship that saved his life, saved his father’s life and the cultural heritage of his people, saved his mother’s planet, if not his mother herself — and board the Ride along with the man who actually saved all of those things. He will go with his captain and a handful of senior crew, the medical staff caring for Pike, and most of the Vulcan survivors. They will travel to earth at Warp 3, taking minutes to cross the distance that the Enterprise will require months to traverse. He pauses by a terminal. He feels ill equipped to debrief Star Fleet, but he and Kirk have been central to the events of the last day, and no one else can explain them as thoroughly.
And yet, he finds he is loath to leave. It is illogical. The ship is limping. Torn nearly asunder. Compromised. Like him. And perhaps that is why.
He hesitates for only a moment before activating the terminal and retrieving the long-range sensor scans he had recorded as the Enterprise sped off toward Earth. Toward Earth and away from the darkness. He watches as the black shrinks, not just from the growing distance. And then, abruptly, a gold-tinged light appears where there had been nothing.
Spock aches.
It is an illusion, of course. He has not witnessed the rebirth of his planet. The ship merely moved faster than light, and beyond the distance which the light from the planet’s destruction had traveled. But his mother was still alive when this light reflected from the planet’s surface. And as he had when he first recorded it, Spock makes calculations. This light is from when she ran for her life. This light is from when she meditated in the katra arc. This light is from earlier in the day, when she would have tended her small garden. This light… he does not know what she had done the day before. He did not communicate as faithfully as he promised, busy with obligations at the academy. He does not know what this light meant in the life of his mother.
Compromise. This scene is moments after the battle with the Narada.
The ship is limping.
Viewscreen cracked, hull breached in seventeen different locations, ranging from a gaping hole on Deck 6 to microfissures that are easily sealed with portable force field generators.
Warp core missing, sacrificed so they could make their escape, like a lizard shedding its tail to flee a desert predator. In hindsight, firing at the Narada had been an unnecessary delay. The collision with the Jellyfish was sufficient to ignite the red matter and trap their enemies in the impending black hole. Spock finds, however, that the memory of their phasors firing as the ship collapsed upon itself is too satisfying to regret. Illogical, considering that the decision nearly killed them all, but true nonetheless.
He is in obvious need of meditation.
Every system has been damaged in the conflict. Thirty seconds after the Enterprise was propelled beyond the gravitational pull of the newly forming black hole by the detonation of the ejected warp core, klaxons blared and the ship shuddered and Kirk called a full stop to assess the dangers of continuing. He had not wanted to risk their lives by pushing the ship when she’d just saved them all. They are now traveling at one-tenth impulse power in a section of space between solar systems, partway along the trajectory back to Vulca— to the location Vulcan once inhabited. Spock had mere seconds to find a suitable location to lure the Narada, ensuring that the red matter would be far from population centers in the event that it was detonated. Spock is gratified he found such a site, mere minutes from Earth via travel at Warp Factor 6.
A quick calculation, however, indicates that under their current capabilities of impulse power, Earth is more than four months away. The Enterprise cannot maintain its current complement and the Vulcan refugees for even a week in its condition.
Repairing communications becomes the highest priority.
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