I’m gonna keep tweaking this shit right up until the very last minute, watch me gooooo.
So looking forward to it!!
Tag: semper-ama
This is the truest thing to ever be true.
I think this is true, but it’s not isolated to the internet. All media has been Balkanized at this point. Think Donald Trump is awesome? You can watch Fox News and never worry about other opinions (or pesky facts, for that matter). Left wing? There’s a news outlet for you too, equally scoffing of the other side. And when we only hear one set of opinions…the set we’re most comfortable with…we think “centrist” is the center of that narrow range. And then we have to come together and actually try to accomplish something, and it’s no wonder that we can’t. The other side’s thoughts and facts and opinions haven’t even been seriously considered. Hence, stalemate and dysfunction in the Congress. Reddit and Tumblr and Facebook may perpetrate this in our personal lives and our personal development, but other media outlets do this in our political and public lives. It is enchanting and empowering to find others that believe as we do, but if it becomes all we hear, then it limits us and can lead to dangerous things. Not only a laziness on our part, as this quote indicates, but the demonization of those who think differently. And that road leads to hell, history tells us. Over and over. And I’m just as guilty as anyone. I hang out here and get my new from Not-Fox-News and feel like an anthropologist on Mars when I accidentally see it in the lobby of some La Quinta in middle America. My work and my relatives keep me somewhat grounded in the REAL breadth of opinions and facts, and I still delight in the fact that voices that are stifled in “mainstream” media can be voiced proudly here. But I also see the danger in sticking only with people who think like I do.
Thanks for finding this, Semper…not sure where all that came from, but you obviously touched a chord that I’ve been contemplating for a while…. (see, I’m not ALL about the porn)
You totes can, my dear! I’ll keep you company while I post and emergency edit and post.
Someone please tell me it’s okay to start the next Pinto thing before I finish editing because I swear I’m losing my mind.
Let’s just plot out all our new stories together. I’m learning so much about earthquakes and the high-rises in LA…
Oooo, research. The fun part! (That is sarcasm; I hate research with a burning passion….I say as I looks at pictures of horse ranches in southern California and write down names of racehorses and create a timeline of important events that happened in 1968.)
As a person who loves disaster stories, I’m excited about this new project of yours though! 😀
yes, I still feel like I’m missing something… but I may just start with what I have and see where things unfold.
Is is strange that this story might also start with a phonecall between Zach and Chris where Zach admits something he’s not really ready to say out loud? I think I’m predictable…
14 pinto :)
things you said after you kissed me
“Whoa.” Zach’s eyes are wide, his jaw slack with shock, as if he isn’t the one that just leaned in and pressed his mouth to Chris’s. “Shit, did I just…”
Chris lets him flounder for a moment, because he’s too busy savoring this moment. He can still taste Zach on his lips—red wine and cigarette smoke—and he can still feel the shape of Zach’s mouth against his. In a moment, they’ll have to talk about it, analyze it, pick it apart and put it back together in a way that makes sense, but for now it’s simple, just a first kiss, his first kiss with Zach. He lifts his fingers to his mouth and runs them across his lips, like he expects to find some evidence there. Surely things like this should leave a permanent, physical impression. A bruise. A scar. First kisses are indelible.
Obviously taking his silence and shock for distress, Zach pours out apologies. “I’m sorry, Chris, I don’t know what I was thinking. I just…how many glasses of wine have I had? I—”
“Zach, shut up,” Chris says. He closes his eyes, because if he doesn’t, he’s going to lean in again. First, he has to think. It’s not the right place. The bar is dark, but it’s also packed, and he has already noticed a couple phones pointed in their direction over the course of the night. He doubts anyone was lucky enough to catch that kiss, but they might catch the next one, or the one after that. This is the part where he should consider his career. Should. Fuck, ‘should’ is such a bullshit word. He’s cutting it from his vocabulary, as of right now.
He opens his eyes again and slides off the barstool, because he wants to be close this time, not leaning across the chasm between them. Zach turns toward him as if pulled by gravity, making it easier for him to slide right in between his legs. He takes Zach’s face in his hands and lets the moment settle between them this time, lets it sink in so they can both prepare to savor it. A small, cowardly part of him tells him he’s really doing it to give Zach a chance to pull away, in case he was telling the truth and he really is sorry.
But Zach doesn’t pull away, so Chris leans in.
This time, when his lips close over Zach’s, the involuntary gasp is not from shock—it’s from recognition. Recognition that this is something he has wanted to do for a long time. It’s funny how you can want something and not realize it until you have it. It’s funny how a person can function just fine with a part of them missing.
That smoke-and-wine taste is back, and when Zach’s lips part on a whimper, Chris searches with his tongue for more of it. Zach’s fingers curl into his shirt, but only to pull him closer. He lets out a rush of breath through his nose that would be a moan if his vocal chords weren’t thoroughly paralyzed, and he kisses him harder, wanting him to know that this isn’t impulse or too much wine or one of those bad decisions that you make based on a passing intrusive thought. This is real.
When they part, Zach doesn’t let go of him, and Chris doesn’t make him. He stands there patiently, hands still framing Zach’s face, and waits for whatever admonishment he’s likely about to get now. He can practically feel multiple sets of eyes on them, but he’s afraid to look. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. He already decided that it doesn’t matter.
“Okay,” Zach says at last, with a nervous little chuckle, “how many glasses of wine did you have?”
“More than enough.” He leans in for one more peck, to punctuate the fact that he’s not taking that out. “Can we get out of here?”
Zach is reaching for his wallet before Chris even finishes his sentence.
zach or chris 😈
Always Chris. Sorry, Zach. I love you too, but…this is Christopher Whitelaw Pine we’re talking about here.
Although I will say that sometimes it feels like comparing apples and oranges. And the more time goes own, the more they diverge in my head. But still, whether we’re talking about who I’d rather have a beer with or who I’d rather bang, the answer is still Chris.
*nods* Absolutely. Always Pie.
I seriously feel like I’m the only pinto fan who prefers Zachary over Chris. Seriously, can someone tell me I’m not?
Me and you against the world @blushingkate! I love them both, but Zachary…asdjlesasdgaejta! There’s a reason I tag his stuff “99 problems”
I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one. I love Chris as well, but Zach has this allure that Chris simply lacks. I feel like I have no place in the pinto/wordplay as foreplay fandom because i don’t prefer CP.
I just want to say that just because I personally have a preference for Chris doesn’t mean I DON’T like Zach. I write from both their POVs in almost equal measure, and I squeal about them both on my blog. I would hate for you or anyone else to feel like just because I have a slight preference for one over the other that that says anything about how I participate in fandom or whether or not they I’m open to interaction from you. If you ever came into my inbox and squealed about Zach, I’d squeal back just as much. Heck, I just did it with an anon tonight.
Point being: I don’t want what I said to be misconstrued as statement of dislike for Zach. I don’t think people should take sides. I don’t think we should split ourselves into Chris Fans and Zach Fans. We’re all Pinto fans. We love them both or we wouldn’t be here, would we? We’d be shipping Chris (or Zach) with someone else.
I didn’t literally mean “against the world.” I’d just resisted responding to that question until Kate spoke up because all the Pie love can be a bit overwhelming at times. She voiced something I’d wondered too. But I do love them both, and I also write from both of their POVs pretty much equally (Bleary is CPOV, Assumptions/Revelations is ZPOV, more minor stories are pretty evenly split). And I love seeing Pie’s work, whereas I’m too much of a wuss to watch a third of Zach’s work. I may even be slightly drawn to Zach BECAUSE of all the Pie love (contrarian soul that I am). But I do love both, and generally find the pinto fandom a pretty accepting place. Even when y’all are wrong 😉
Pinto,15!!
things you said with too many miles between us
“I’ve gotta tell you, man, this dry spell is killing me.”
Zach snorts into the phone as he opens the door to his apartment and steps inside, flicking on the lights. “Well, this conversation just took a hard left turn.”
“Sorry. I just figured you’d understand. I feel like I’ve been filming for a year straight—”
“That’s because you pretty much have, Chris. I seriously hope you’re going to take a break after Wonder Woman.” Zach shifts the phone to his other ear so he can toss his empty coffee cup in the trash can and start rummaging around in the fridge for ingredients for dinner. “And by the way, you are allowed to fuck people while you’re working, you know. Just preferably not your co-stars.”
“I know, I know,” Chris sighs in his ear. “But after a fourteen-hour day of filming, the last thing I want to do is go out to a bar to cruise for chicks.”
Zach chuckles as he plops an armful of veggies down on the counter next to the cutting board. “Cruise for chicks? Christ. No wonder you can’t get laid. Hold on, I’m putting you on speaker. Gotta multitask.”
He presses the speakerphone button and sets his phone down. This has become something of a ritual for them since they finished shooting Trek. The phone calls don’t happen daily, as if by some mutual agreement, but they never seem to go more than three days. Now that Chris is in London, it’s been harder to talk because of the time difference, but they just tend to play phone tag until they get ahold of each other. It seems important somehow. The days they don’t manage to catch each other, Zach feels jittery and weird.
“I’m just saying, Zach.” Chris’s voice fills the kitchen now. It’s soothing. “It’s hard to meet people.”
Zach rolls his eyes at nothing while he busies himself with chopping up a pepper. “How can you be such an introvert and such a slut at the same time? I don’t get it.”
“Those two things are not mutually exclusive,” Chris says indignantly. “I just want to get off. Is that so much to ask?”
“Well, I’d offer my services, but…” Zach means it to be a joke, and he expects a laugh from the other end of the line, but a couple seconds of weird silence pass by instead. He pauses in his chopping and listens hard, trying to tell if the call dropped.
But then. “Honestly, I’d probably take you up on it.”
It takes a few seconds for that to sink in, but once it does, Zach sputters and whirls around to gape at his phone as if Chris could actually see him. “What?”
“I’ve just, uh…I’ve actually been missing being with men lately. It’s hard when I’m working so much, and I have to be careful. It’s…it’s been a long time, and I just…”
“So that’s it, then? It’s been a long time, so you’d even settle for me?”
“That’s not what I meant.” Chris sounds oddly solemn, and Zach has to snatch up the phone and take him off speaker, like that will somehow stop this conversation from feeling so weird.
“What did you mean?”
“I meant…” Chris pauses to sigh, and Zach grips the counter to brace for what comes next. “I meant that I think about you a lot. And I miss you. I meant that I really wish you were here, for a lot of reasons. I meant that if you ever wanted me that way…all you’d have to do is ask.”
“Oh,” Zach says dumbly. He’s stares at the wall, at a spot on the backsplash where the grout is a little dirty. He should clean that, he thinks. Maybe he should clean it now. Maybe that will stop his head from exploding. “You, uh…we couldn’t have had this conversation sometime when you weren’t about a million miles away?”
Chris lets out a nervous chuckle. “You can add ‘coward’ to your lexicon of my negative traits.”
“Lexicon,” Zach repeats. “Good word.”
“Zach, come on—”
“No, I…I don’t know what you want me to say, Chris. I’m kind of blindsided here.”
There are shuffling sounds on the other end of the line, and Zach wishes more than anything that he could see Chris right now. He has a feeling that if he could see him, he would know exactly what he wants. As a disembodied voice on the phone, Chris is just his friend, his best friend, one of the most constant things in his life. Maybe if he were here in the flesh and Zach could see him and touch him and smell him and—
“Look, let’s just…let’s say that it’s on the table. Me. I’m on the table. I won’t say anything else about it, and next time we see each other I’ll just act normally, but if you want something, all you’ve gotta do is…is let me know, okay?”
Zach takes a deep breath, then lets it out in a rush. “Okay,” he says shakily. “Okay.”
“Okay. Well. I’m going to go to bed before I can start to really freak out about how much I just fucked up—”
“You didn’t fuck—”
“—and I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’ll call you this weekend.”
Zach doesn’t think he’s lying. Chris might be a self-confessed coward, but he’s not a dick, and he’s not going to let their friendship fall by the wayside for something that’s not Zach’s fault—Zach knows that. In fact, Chris might be the only person in the world, aside from his brother, that Zach can’t imagine ever abandoning him. It’s comforting, but it’s also scary.
“Chris?” he says, before Chris can hang up and leave him with lonely static.
“Yeah?”
“I miss you too.”
Thank God someone said it. I rolled my eyes so hard they almost fell out of my head.
For fuck’s sake, though. I mean, do what you want, but don’t act like you’re on some sort of moral/ethical high ground sticking it to the man by not treating your sinus infection or whatever. All that says to me is a) you’re woefully uninformed and b) you’re lucky enough to have never been seriously ill.
That’s funny, I really didn’t read it that way. I mean, I am a big believer in western medicine, but also understand that antibiotics are WAY over used and becoming increasingly ineffective because of it. Therefore I only use them when all other meds/strategies for getting rid of an infection (drying sinuses out, etc) fail. And as shorthand I might say I don’t take antibiotics, but I don’t mean EVER, I mean as a first line of defense. They are a last resort, so they’ll still be working when I or others really need them. I took Zach’s comments like that. But maybe I was being generous. He did mention shamanism, after all, and that is not particularly encouraging regarding medical attitudes…
The thing is, he’s not taking a stand on antibiotic misuse/overuse (although, even if he was, I’d probably be annoyed, because he is neither a doctor nor a scientoost~ and therefore not the person who should be telling people when to use or not use medication). In fact, he said it wasn’t about the drugs themselves at all. What he said was:
“For me it’s not about this particular drug, but the pharmaceutical industry and corporatisation of it. That feels very separate to my well-being.“
Which to me is just an ignorant thing to say. Use of medication should be based on whether or not it is necessary, not some kind of pseudo-activism. It’s all well and good to want to take a stand against the influence of money in the pharma industry, but this is the kind of thing someone who doesn’t have a chronic condition that required medication says. It smacks of privilege to me. I just lost a little respect for him is all.
ETA: And it’s possible that he just meant that he avoids it when he can and he would not refuse it if he needed it, and it just ended up as a poor soundbite. But you gotta be careful what you say when you’re in a position where people will readily listen to you. As he should know by now.
Well, he has a point about big pharmaceutical companies. They engage in all sorts of business practices that are about making money rather than helping people. They protect their patents to the point that they harm patients’ access, and bring things to market when we really have no idea about long term effects. I used to work for one of those companies, and had to leave the industry. I was so disheartened And yes, he’s privileged with good health, which he gets some kudos for because he works to keep himself fit, but it is also a good bit of luck. I doubt he’d argue that, or that people with diabetes or depression or some other chronic condition shouldn’t take the appropriate medications. He probably would argue that you shouldn’t take more insulin just so you can gorge on candy at the movie theater. He seems to approach health with a certain seriousness, and doesn’t aprove of using meds in the place of risk adverse behavior. Aside from being a bit snooty about it, it’s not a particularly irrational position. Drugs can be useful tools in health maintenance, but they are not the only tools, and direct advertising from pharmaceutical companies has possibly encouraged us to rely on them more than we should. Physical therapy is often better for pain management that drugs, especially for backs. And I am not speaking from a position of ignorance or some new age holistic angel healing bullshit viewpoint. My husband is a neuroscientist, I’m a biologist. I used to work on cancer. There are many health issues where meds are not a good answer, but pharmaceutical companies push whatever they’ve managed to develop to make some return on their investments.
Again, I may be overly generous with reading between Zach’s words, and I think I’ve only read two interviews where he said anything about medication, but in neither case did his position feel simplified or ignorant. It seemed skeptical. And that’s hardly ever a bad thing.
I guess neither of us can know EXACTLY what he meant to say without asking him to clarify, so maybe I’m being too harsh and maybe you’re being too lenient–who really knows? I do agree with you that I don’t think it’s bad to be against using medicine as an excuse to engage in risky behavior. I actually had pretty much no problems with his comments about PreP, and I totally agree that it’s not a good idea to let anything make you feel like you’re invincible and no longer need to be careful. If he would have said that, I would have been more in agreement. But he said “I don’t take prescription drugs”, which sounds like an absolute statement to me. Not, “I don’t use prescription drugs as a substitute for healthier choices” but “I don’t take prescription drugs” period, which is why it super rubbed me the wrong way. Taking the time to understand your prescriptions in light of the fact that drug companies push them more than they are needed is one thing. Implying that prescription drugs in general are bad because drug companies are bad is another. It seems like I’m reading it more as the latter and you’re reading it more as the former, and I really hope you’re the one who’s right.
That said, I so often end up rolling my eyes at him that it’s possible I’m just being too hard on him in this case. He has a habit of making absolute statements on subjects that are not absolute, and it’s possible he just has a hard time verbally expressing himself, but I do get burnt out on it sometimes. Which isn’t to say I’m any more or less of a fan of his. I still love him, but he’s a problematic fav for sure, at least for me. I understand that others may have a different view of him. It all comes down to personality really. Everyone has different things that annoy them or appease them. Zach sometimes pushes my buttons, but I’m not gonna hold a grudge. I honestly can’t think of a celebrity I’m a fan of that HASN’T made me cringe hard at some point. They’re people too. It’s okay for them to be dumb sometimes. I’m sure I’d piss people off in a New York minute if I ever gained any kind of celebrity. xD
Well, if it’s any consolation, I COMPLETELY rolled my eyes at the “I love sluts” comment. Not how you get yourself out of the doghouse…
Several Sentence Sunday
Something seems to come over Zach. He abandons his buttons and stalks toward Chris, who backs up instinctively, until his back hits a tree trunk. But Zach keeps on coming, right up into his space. It doesn’t seem that long ago that he was little more than a bag of bones, but when Chris plants a hand on his bare chest, all he feels is lean, powerful muscle. They haven’t been close like this, face to face, in a long time, but everything is just the way Chris remembers it—the shadows Zach eyelashes cast on his skin, the perfect dust of stubble across his jaw, the way his eyes are lighter up close, and warmer too.
“And what is it you want from me, hmm?” Zach asks him, his voice so low it barely sounds human. Chris’s heart starts racing, and he tries to shove Zach away, but it doesn’t work. His heart isn’t really in it.
“Zach,” he says helplessly.
Zach’s hand comes up and curls around the side of Chris’s neck. His thumb slides gently across his jaw, but Chris doesn’t trust it. He can’t quite place the look in Zach’s eyes right now, and it’s unsettling.
“Is this what you want from me?” Zach rumbles. He leans in and noses along Chris’s cheekbone, his breath scorching in contrast to the cool evening air. In spite of himself, Chris tilts his head back, baring his neck in reflexive submission. If it looks like a jungle cat and walks like a jungle cat, treat it like a jungle cat. Zach bites him just under his jaw, quick and sharp, and then follows it with a hot swipe of his tongue. The sound that comes out of Chris’s mouth might be a warning or might be encouragement, but it definitely isn’t “stop”.
*whispers so softly i cant even hear myself* I bet Chris is the kinda guy that touches himself all over forever when he masturbates. Like he’s all about touching his own thighs.
Whhhhhyyyyyyy would you do this to me? Why would you put this image in my head? *distressed noises*
Really though, headcanon accepted. He doesn’t just jump right in and go for the gold. He has to work himself up to it, touching his chest and rubbing his nipples and stroking his thighs (and summoning up his favorite Zach fantasy to fixate on, of course). Mmmm, yes. Yes good.
so who’s writing the blindfolded, tied up pie fic where zach makes him come by touching everything BUT his dick?
RC I swear to fucking god
I volunteer as tribute!
GO, ATO, GO. 😀
ATO I’M GONNA SCREAM
Working now…will write this weekend. Also, someone needs to help me finish PBB.
A beginning (for rabidchild67, vulcan-science, and semper-ama)
He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, Zach realizes, watching Chris’ thumb rub idle circles in his leg as he reads. Rather high on his leg. Zach shifts in his seat, and Chris raises his head absently and sets it back down on Zach’s lap when he’s settled, turning the page and then setting his hand back on his thigh.
It’s been nearly an hour of this subtle torture, and at this point Zach’s forgotten what he’s even trying to read. A night in, Chris had said. He get’s cranky going out every night in a strange town. They have this beautiful suite with a view of the city skyline from the sofa, and Chris just wants to stay in and relax and enjoy a quiet evening. So Zach is sitting on the couch with Chris sprawled out to his right, and he’s trying to be a good boyfriend and let Chris have his quiet.
It’s just… Chris is so damned physical. His hands are moving all the time. And they’re sensual, and he knows exactly how they feel on his own skin, and he’s very curious about the places Chris touches himself when he’s not thinking about it. It’s hard to look away.
He tries to focus on a paragraph for the third time, but the soft scratching on Chris’ jeans is relentless. It’s rhythmic. Mesmerizing. He steals a look at Chris’ wandering thumb and the slight bulge in his pants, and grips the back of the sofa so he won’t still the maddening, circling digit. Chris’ mind seems completely absorbed in what he’s reading, even if his body is having its way with itself.
His book. He shakes his head to refocus. He likes this book; it shouldn’t be so hard to actually absorb what he’s reading. He finds his place at the top of the page again, gets two lines in when Chris turns the page of his book and then lets his hand fall to his chest. And now fingers are absently drifting up and down his chest, and Jesus Christ, the man is a fucking menace, nipples starting to show through his thin t-shirt, breath deepening so Zach can feel each inhale where they touch. The idea that they will get any reading done in this hotel suite is comical. Or rather, that he will get any reading done. Chris is managing just fine. Chris is reading and fondling himself and inadvertently rendering Zach stupid and aroused. Zach sets his book down on the arm of the sofa.
“Are you reading porn?”
“What?” Chris asks, lowering his book and looking up at Zach. “No. It’s poetry.”
Of course it is. Chris has an intimate relationship with words, after all. This shouldn’t be surprising. “You’re hard. And you’re fondling yourself. Which has me hard.”
Chris’ eyebrows raise.
“You’re not reading?”
“Oh, I am,” Zach answers. “Just… not my book. You’re not allowed to use this anymore,” he adds, taking the offending hand a pulling it across his lap, over Chris’ head. “Keep reading if you want to, but I’ll be the one fondling you.”
Ato's Fandom Blog 