loves-pie:

suedescripture:

demonkidpliz:

itreallyisthelittlethings:

Captain Kirk recorded this:

“Captain’s Log, Stardate 2263.02. Today is our 966th day in deep space – A little under three years into our five year mission. The more time we spend out here, the harder it is to tell where one day ends and the next one begins. It can be a challenge to feel grounded, when even the gravity is artificial.

But while we do what we can to make it feel like home, the crew, as always, continues to act admirably despite the rigors of our extended stay here in outer space, the personal sacrifices they made. We continue to search for new lifeforms in order to establish firm diplomatic ties. Our extended time in uncharted territory has stretched the ship’s mechanical capacities but fortunately our engineering department, led by Mr. Scott, is more than up to the job. The ship aside, prolonged cohabitation has definitely had effects on the interpersonal dynamics. Some experiences for the better and some for the worse. As for me, things have started to feel a little episodic. The farther out we go, the more I find myself wondering what it is we are trying to accomplish. But if the universe is truly endless, then are we not striving for something forever out of reach? The Enterprise is scheduled for re-provisioning stop at Yorktown, the Federation’s newest, most advanced starbase. Perhaps a break from routine will offer up some respite from the mysteries of the unknown.”

and Spock Prime died:

On the same day that Kirk made allusions to shifting ‘interpersonal dynamics’ and gave voice to feeling lost, disconnected and without purpose was the same day Spock Prime died. 

#Look- I’m not saying its space husbands but#space husbands#and I’m not saying that they had a mind link#but it is canon that Spock prime melded with a version of his t’hy’la that he hadn’t seen/felt for 90+ years#at the same time he was dealing with hearing the death screams of 6 billion Vulcans#and if there was ever a time for an accidental bond to be created…#and I’m not saying that Kirks feelings came on in just one day#I’m sure he gave voice to these same concerns in his private logs#The disconnect#(what kind of stress is placed on the body and mind when there is a mental link but no acknowledgement of link?)#Feeling lost#(we don’t know how Spock died other than it was natural causes was the link fading as Spock lost awareness?)#Without purpose#(what must it feel like *knowing* he belongs on the bridge of that ship with Spock at his side#but having to live with Spock choosing someone else’s side?)#definitely not saying he wasn’t feeling these things before#but there had to have been a tipping point#to say these things in his ‘official for the record’ record#sad kirk#spock prime always makes me cry (via @itreallyisthelittlethings)

What if that day, or the night before, what if that was the day after shift, Spock met the Captain to play chess, and he noticed the captain was having an alcoholic beverage, and on asking why, Jim responded that he just felt a little odd today and wanted to relax. And things with Nyota have not been ideal, Spock has also felt stressed in a way meditation has not helped, so why not. Instead of getting tea, he replicates hot chocolate. And so they drink, and play chess, and talk around everything, and then as they reset the board, their fingers accidentally touch and they both feel something, and it’s the weirdest, most palpable sense of simultaneous loss of self and being found at the same time.

Spock is a scientist, curious and thoughtful, and Jim is lonely, so lonely, and still reckless, still willing to leap without looking, even at 30. One thing leads to another that night.

They’d been drinking. It wouldn’t happen again. They’re both professionals, and anyway, they have a mission to complete. So they are cordial, they are polite, and they will pretend it didn’t feel like the closest thing to home either of them had ever known.

No please, after you.

That’s pretty much what I’m writing!